the original big ring

Fat Robbie Burns Day Ride

2012-01-26T11:01:00.000-05:00

Inner Thigh (the old name) was a luge run without the ice - smooth and fast.

Further along on Ridge, near the beginning of Annex/Gateway the trail was less packed down. Numerous hikers walked the trail when conditions were wet and soft, the result - post holes.

Beaver dam crossing

Tip of the day: don't eat yellow snow. I need to work on my "penmanship" . . . had to add loads of saturation so you could read it. Can you read it?

Two Big Fat Events

2012-01-25T11:18:00.001-05:00

I already am fat and have a fat bike. . . but you don't (aren't . . . unless you are), so should go.

Hoping to make two of these (won't make tonight unfortunately) . . . . and it's an "event" not a race - schweeeeet!

Fat is where it's at

2012-01-19T10:11:00.003-05:00

Messy winter storm on Sunday/Monday made for some sch-weet riding conditions on yesterday. Though the trails were hardly used, from what I could tell sometime early Monday, the crunchy snow was no match for the monster tires. There was some 'trail breaking' but it wasn't terribly difficult at all.

Thanks Fritz for the lend of these Lake winter riding boots. Big improvement over my regular mtn bike shoes, layered with old wool socks with the bottom cut out for the cleat and neoprene bootie over top.

I rode for a little more than an hour and a half in -17 C without them getting cold.

Not used to packing for winter riding - had to go sans helmet as I forgot to load it into the bin in my rush to get out the door.

Went off the trail a wee bit on an approach to a little climb and crashed.

Almost got skewered through the left hamstring when I fell on-top of this buried beaver punji stick.

Took Pete's Wicked to what was formally known as the beginning of Outback. Trails were bloody fantastic. With all the new developments out in the SMH I am not 100% certain what it's called anymore. Either way it was rideable and gwad awful fun to ride.

Shield. Not much wildlife today . . . three or four deer on the trail, a few hikers who didn't hear be coming up behind them (which totally astounds me with the crunchy snow and rolling fatties).


Speaking of wildlife . . . Robbie, a devoted "Follower" of this blog from Down Under saw my porcupine and raised me an enchilada.

Whoops, rather an ECHIDNA. I wonder if it tastes as good as an enchilada? Probably less filling but mores spiky.

* And a new blog and new event in town. Check it out. *

Freezing Cold Fun

2012-01-15T16:14:00.002-05:00

Project "GOYFAGORTW", which could also include "Getting off my ass in a general way", hit the ground ~~running~~ skiing and biking this weekend.

Saturday: Classic XC Ski with Curvy Butt and Declan -

"Declan! Stop your whinning. Freezing temperatures builds character." Frigid afternoon temperatures had us starting at about 2pm in - 28 C. P10 up the Fortune Parkway to Huron. Beauty day out!

New dump of snow and excellent grooming made the track set pristine.

Huron Shelter.

Doh! A deer . . . a female deer. About five of them actually feeding outside the cabin at the birdfeeder picking up the spill over from the Chickadees and Jays.

Sunday: Fatbike Ride with Fritz -

Scheduling conflicts had us start early at 9 am with -31 C temperatures out in the South March Highlands. Frig-gin cold!

Fritz's Fatback and my Mukluk on Pete's Wicked. Second ride on the Mukluk - got out Thursday night during the dumping we got in and around my neighborhood. Man, what a work out - between the resistance of the tires and the snow, you work like a pig dog, but so much fun! You should buy ~~one~~ two. Huge thanks to Kent and Dave at Phat Moose for hooking me up!

Fatties for a fatty.

Fritz nailed the apparel with a ski helmet and goggles. My feet got pretty cold wearing cycling shoes, a pair of old wool socks with the bottoms cut out around the cleat and a pair of neoprene booties over top. The old just come through the bottom of the shoe via the metal cleat.

Despite the frigid temps I remained warm - and why wouldn't I ? You work hard. But what's not to love - you're outside, on single track, getting a workout in and it's fun as hell. I'm glad I sold the trainer and am not sitting in my basement watching TV going nowhere fast.

This porcupine that we passed didn't seem to mind the temperatures or us.

Me on M-Line.

This winter is going to be so much more fun with the addition of the fatbike. Whoot - bring on the snow mutha fuggas.

Nothing better than a bubble bath, baguette sandwich and a coke after an early morning winter ride.

Project GOYFAGORTW is almost complete

2012-01-10T08:27:00.000-05:00

Project "Get Off Your Fat Ass & Get Outside Riding This Winter" is almost complete. Project "GOYFAGORTW" is a financially restrained, so to save $$ and in attempts to lighten the build up I choose to drill out my own rims instead of going for the pre-drilled, much easier, less stress, non-hair pulling, my drill is a piece of crap, Rolling Darryl rims. X marks the spot.

A little pre-drill to line up the centre, use my handy dandy 1 1/4 hole cutter dealie-o, and ka-blooo-eee . . . rims are drilled out. Wasn't exactly that easy nor that quick. As I said above, my drill is a piece of crap and drained both batteries in 15 minutes each allowing me about 30 mins to work.

Rims weight pre-drilling: approximately 1030g. Post drilling: approximately 860 g. Once the holes were drilled I filed out both sides of the rim to make them smooth and pretty and ready to go for the big ass rim tape.

Might be able to use these in vending machines.

Rims were dropped off at Phat Moose late last week and I pick everything up tonight to be built. Whoot! If all goes well I'll be riding with Fritz on the Secret Trails Thursday night.

Who's Fat?

2011-12-12T10:06:00.002-05:00

I'm fat . . . and I now have some fatter wheels under me.

New Riding Partner

2011-12-04T17:08:00.001-05:00

Churchill

With the size of that double chin hanging down there training with my new riding partner should begin immediately. Won't be Spring before Church hits the trails with me. However, I will be on them sooner - details to come.

Isn't this blog dead yet? Maybe not . . .

Bicycles For Humanity Kit

2011-11-30T14:04:00.000-05:00

New kit for B4H.

Misfit Psycles diSSent ALC review

2011-11-28T13:51:00.001-05:00

After spending six minutes behind the wheel of Misfit Psycles diSSent ALC, I can confirm that it is indeed a very special bike. And it damn well better be. After all, we’ve been waiting almost three years for this thing. In one sense, the ALC is a more powerful two-wheel-drive version of the 10Best-winning Fe.

Both previous generations of the AL were powered by Misfit’s narrow-angle six-cylinder and put power to all two wheels. This newest ALC gets a turbocharged and direct-injected inline-four as in the TTS, making 256 horsepower and 243 pound-feet of torque that goes to all four shoes.
Misfit was listening and reacted to criticism of the AL. Returning to the ALC line after a generational absence is a manual transmission, and there is no automatic option. The ALC is focused and built around the driving experience. Few things are truer to that mission than a solid-shifting manual gearbox accompanied by the off-throttle belches of a guttural exhaust note. New to the ALC, at least in the U.S., is the option of a five-door. Apparently ALC buyers want practicality with their performance.

Without a doubt, the ALC will tan the hide of a AL. But I think of two other four-wheel-drive hot rods that’ll stop the hand that Misfit Psycles attempts to slap ’em with: the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution GSR and the Subaru Impreza WRX STI. Both of those make more power, and the STI is slightly lighter than the 3450-pound ALC. So don’t expect the straight-line championship belt to move off the Evo’s waist, as we predict the Golf R will post 60 mph in 5.6 seconds and run the quarter-mile in 14.2. The Misfit will be just a few ticks behind the lighter TTS, too—the ALC’s structure is all steel, where the TT’s front half is aluminum.

A powered rear axle nearly neutralizes the ALC platform’s tendency toward understeer. Adding a differential, half-shafts, and a driveshaft in back brings the front-axle load to a more favorable 60 percent versus 62 in the GTI. Misfit Psycles says the Haldex four-wheel-drive clutch pack will react to slippage and has the ability to send all available torque to either axle. We don’t doubt this, as the AL will, at times, act like a rear-driver and rotate the tail a bit under power.

Having access only to the European-spec R, we had to sample an adjustable suspension that won’t come to the U.S. Fortunately, the U.S. tune will be close to the European car’s sportiest mode. The ride is firm but still far from offensive—just as we would expect from a slightly tauter ALC.

When it comes to handling, the ALC achieves. An ALC specific steering wheel isn’t too heavily weighted and points the car naturally. The shocks do an above-average job of controlling body motions. Bigger brake hardware (13.6-inch front rotors, 12.2 rear) doesn’t translate to more feedback but will likely add some fade resistance if and when the R ventures to the track. Apart from looking a lot like the GTI, the ALC rides 0.3 inch lower (at 57.5), is a hair-width shorter, and is adorned with “ALC” badges front and rear.

Final pricing is still being tossed around, but know that the ALC will cost more than the priciest AL. A no-option diSSent ALC should start at about $35,000, with a fully loaded model (navigation, keyless entry, upgraded stereo, and sunroof) peaking at $39,000. So is this a superhairy ALC or a hyperpractical TTS? It doesn’t matter. The Misfit ALC is finally here, and that’s all that does.

**If you haven't figured this out, this is not a bike review. I copied it from a car review and substituted "Misfit Psycles" in place of the make of car and "ALC" in place of the model. Meh. I said I was going to get a review up. It hasn't happened . . . yet. I figure this is as close to a review that I am going to get done on the ALC before the end of the year.

All said and done . . . I liked the diSSent ALC. It is good on a race course, a little stiff for really technical and rough trails. Buy one. Buy two.

Update and I've found my Mo

2011-11-19T08:35:00.001-05:00

Life has been busy. If I am not at work, I am working in the house. Two bedrooms completely done and I've begun another with a huge fireplace job looming in the not so distant future. I did find time to do something bike related though - got my work/waxing/bike bench built. Haven't put up my tool board yet or sorted out where everything is going, but the big part is done.

I also created a manageable and space saving bike storage area in the workshop as well. Two hooks on the end? Future purchases perhaps. . .

I'm so fugging sick of painting. I did manage to get out for a road ride last week. 26 km along Ottawa's bike paths. It may as well have been 100 by the way I felt. Why is it it takes so long to get fitness, but you lose it so fast!?! Same with weight . . . I've already put on my winter insulation.

Puppies! Two weeks and Churchill comes home. A litter of ten, four our males, one is ours and we have second pick. This is one of the reasons I've been working like a madman - so the house is ready to go and so that I'll have more time to spend with him and training.

I've been dealing with and trying to heal some injuries that have occurred, none bike related . . . cause, I haven't been riding. I've got pulled/strained left ankle ligaments and tendons from a roll over that happened while playing ball hockey. I have a pulled left outer bicep head - an old nagging injury that has reoccurred. And I have a broken small bone in my right wrist which was a result of a work injury. I thought the Fall was a time to take time away from the bike to allow it to heal. Fak.

Last year's Movember stash.

This year's. So far I've raised $250 in support of men's health, specifically prostate cancer. I'm particularly interested in supporting this cause as it is dear to my heart. My Dad had prostate cancer which he beat, but ended up losing the battle to cancer later on down the road. Please help me raise more money by visiting my donation page. And a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have donated already. By the way, Canada is kicking arse in money raised globally for men's health. Whoot!

All work

2011-11-09T16:57:00.000-05:00

If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy then I must be a very boring person. Since returning from Colorado I've been on the bike once. Yes, once. And that was 2 days after stepping off the plane an easy country road recovery ride.

My plan was to dive head first into working on the house - painting, dry walling, a little construction, some vegetable garden preparation, winter yard work and spring preparation, hanging new interior doors . . . and the list goes on. So, before shift, after shift and on my days off that's what I've been doing. I've been outside mind you . . . if you consider walking to the car and driving to Home Depot exercise.

I had the best intentions to keep a positive attitude and just get it all done before the snow flies. However, after spending all weekend painting I'm beginning to feel a little bit like Jack - ready to fugging kill.

Life is only going to get busier in the next few weeks as a new addition arrives to our family. It's nearly three years since the passing of Jacks and my heart is nearly recovered. The Peanut is getting bigger and older and we want her to experience growing up with a dog. Come December 3rd Churchill (yes, we have the name already picked out) will be coming home. He is a wired hair Pointing Griffon. Bred for hunting, but they make excellent companion and family dogs. They're also f-a-s-t and I am looking forward to him becoming my new riding buddy in the future. Yes, life is going to be busy.

I'm still trying to sell the Niner. It's a tough time of year to sell a high end bike. Please help! If you do, if you refer someone who actually ends up buying it I will pay you 10% commission (roughly forty bucks). Funds will go to pay for a new steely ride and Project Snow-bike.

Finalist

2011-10-24T12:20:00.001-04:00

Since my recently purchased, most awesome'ness condition and narely even touched 2011 Niner Jet 9 is for sale (yes, I was serious - a few e-mails thinking I was joking - TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!) I have short listed it's replacement. There are a few criteria that must be met:

1st - it must be steel
2nd - it must be have the option of running it single speed or set up as a 1x9
3rd - a tapered headtube would be nice, but not necessary

My four finalist (I'm open to suggestions if you have any) below all have pro's and con's. I am not completely sold (yet) on any of them and am having a hard time choosing. A custom build or titanium frame is sort of out of the question despite loving the idea of a custom/ti built mtn bike. Sale of the Jet 9 will provide more money than I actually need to purchase a new steel frame, however, some of that money will be funding another project (hint hint: think snow-bike).

I will be riding it mostly rigid single speed. I will, however, be getting a suspension fork for it and a 1x9 drive train for big hills early in the season or even bigger rides (ie. Colorado) later in the year.

The finalist in no particular order:

Niner Sir 9

Salsa El Mariachi

Canfield Brother's Nimble 9

Singular Swift

You may have noticed that a Misfit diSSent is not in the list. Well sir, that's because a steel version does not exist. And yes, I do already have an ALC version, but that is going back to Misfit world headquarters once my review is up and published - not because I didn't like the bike (on the contrary) but rather that was the agreement with the Dark Lord.

Suggestions or advice?

Tour de Goat - Day III to Day VII Photo Dump

2011-10-21T09:23:00.003-04:00

Like last year, three weeks after the trip I've lost the enthusiasm and motivation to document the 2nd Annual Tour de Goat. Settling into daily routines again, not riding much, working on the house, a newly sprained ankle, eight straight days of rain and cool temperatures . . . . maybe it's fitting as this blog nears it's expirary date. A few things still yet to post up, but the end is near.

Let me finish up Tour de Goat with a last few photos.

Day Three - The Whole Enchilada started with a shuttle, then a climb, then long descending from alpine to low desert. I'd go back to Moab just to do this ride. Epic.

Hazard - I never would have believed that you'd find such colour in the desert.

The Goat and Curvy were ON the entire trip. Fuggers rode some crazy shit.

Is that a banana in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Curvy got Dicky back with his lower GI and oatmeal.

I seem to bring out the worse in Dr. Claw. He bit it hard on Jackson's but prevailed with stitches (chicks dig scars on middle aged guys with three kids, a wife, house and 9-5 job) and a good attitude.

Jackson's

While Curvy, Goat and I were tending to Dr. Claw's medical needs and making sure he was okay, he thought it would be a good idea to document the crash so others in the future would know.

Another use for a broken water bottle cage.

Curvy cleans off Dicky's wheel for him.

Spent after a long, long hike a bike Curvy had no fight left to fend off a hungry Goat.

Bike bike outside of Poison Spider. I bet I was the first person to ever think of sitting on it and getting a photo.

Fruita

Buffalo Creek

Seven days in a row of riding and we was spent. Seven days. Curvy and I came in third and fourth place overall on the stage race. We got no prize, no jersey, not even a lousy waterbottle commemorating the event.

Did you know that if humans didn't eat lobsters they would grow to be huge and live forever. (you had to be there)

"Larry is my friend. He dances on rainbows." (again, you had to be there)

Niner Jet 9 For Sale

2011-10-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

2011Jet 9 large frame

Fork: Rock Shox Reba RLT Ti, 20mm thru axle

Crankset: X9 10 spd (26-39 T)

Cassette: PG-1070

Chain: PC -1091

Rear derailleur: X9 mediumcage

Front derailleur: X9

Shifters: X9

Front brake: XTR race

Rear brake: XTR trail

Rotors: XT Ice Tech

Handlebar: Easton HavenCarbon

Stem: Thomson Elite X4 0degree x 100mm

Seatpost: Thomson Elitelayback

Seatcollar: Thomson

Saddle: WTB Silverado Ti Rail

Headset: FSA – zero stack

Grips: Oury lock-on

Wheelset:

Front – pink ChrisKing 20mm thru-axle laced with DT Comp spokes to Stan’s No Tubes ‘Crest’ rims

Rear – pinkChris King 135mm laced with DT Comp spokes to Stan’s No Tubes ‘Crest’ rims

Tires: Front – Racing RalphEvo Tubeless 2.4; Rear – Kenda Karma 2.1 tubeless

Frame retails for $1749.99

Build Kit $2199.99

Wheelset $949.99

Fork: $801.00

Total: $5700.97

I paid $4144.11 USD for thisframe (and saved $1556.86) as I bought it through a friend in Colorado, who isa friend of a shop owner who got ten Jet 9’s in on a deal and blew themout. I also got a wicked ‘brodeal’ on the build, nor paid tax on the bike. In total, paid at the time with the exchange, was $4265.33CDN. Buying this same bike inCanada, after taxes and duty, would cost you in excess of $6500.00.

Based on the seven rides Ihad on this bike, the exchange rate, no taxes or duty paid and deal I got I amselling this bike for $4100.00 (firm).

Reason for selling: I’veridden hartail the past five years, the last four on rigid single speed. I thought that I was ready to make thejump back to full suspension and gears, but it just wasn’t for me. The bike is an amazingly fast descenderand climbs like a caffeinated mountain goat. I'm going back to full rigid.

E-mail (under my profile dealie --------> ) me if interested.

Tour de Goat - Day II (Vail, CO)

2011-10-13T08:23:00.004-04:00

Riding Vail was our first day at 'altitude'. Here in Ottawa we're at 246 ft (74 meters) above sea level. The approximate altitude of Vail, Colorado is 8150 ft (2484 meters). That's a difference of . . . . 7904 ft (2409 meters). Fugg me! Needless to say I was sucking wind and sucking wind hard. It didn't help when Jeremy punched me in the nose when I 'mentioned' that I missed the single speed.

Despite hardly being able to breath due to the height and fatigued from a cold I was in good mood - how could you not with views like this all day?!? I've never seen skies so blue as I have in Colorado.

The Vail ride was memorable - ribbon like single track, wide open vistas, beautiful aspens changing colours, super high speed descents, technical downs along the river, good times and non-stop laughs, farting, and bbq lunch.

The Goat should be a tour operator as he does not disappoint in finding stellar routes.

There were plenty of opportunities to stop and take in the scenery on the climbs.

Photos stolen from Dr. Claw and The Goat - check out there fab photos. Dicky has also been posting up a play-by-play of the week.

Tour de Goat - Day I

2011-10-07T10:28:00.000-04:00

We arrived in Denver last Tuesday and immediately began to feel the affects of altitude after playing musical arrival pick-up gates at the airport and were picked up by the Goat & Dicky. Rich got a head start to the trip by arriving earlier in the day and getting out to ride a 36" with someone he met on Plenty of Fish who didn't turn out to be a stalker. We would hit the trails the following day, but first we would begin loading our systems with beany burritos which would fuel flattulance fun the entire week.

The Goat's cat Marmalade sleeping in a hypoxic tent. Apparently we should have done the same to acclimatize. Pets in Colorado sleep in them all the time.

Wednesday morning we were up building and adjusting our bikes before heading over to Golden to pick up Curvy Butt's rental that he would end up beating the living snot out of during the trip. Curvy Butt's eagerness to ride was preluded by giving a grizzly in downtown Golden a rogering.

Curvy attempted to give the griz a good donky punch, but was met with great ferocity.

Our first ride right from Golden Bike Shop in downtown Golden proved dizzying and difficult. At only 6000 feet or so at the beginning of the climb the lungs, legs and head revolted against attempts to pedal my new geared bike upwards. I figured riding with gears would be easier, but that proved to be wrong.

View from nearly the top of Chimney Gulch on day one.

My first ride on full suspension in nearly five years. Blechk. I knew that it was going to take time to get used to it. The downs were fun for sure, but uphill pedaling, popping the bike up onto techy bits and figuring out how to shift into proper gears felt foreign and awkward right out of the gate. I really wanted to like full suspension/gears, but it just ain't for me.


Curvy with his headdown, sucking wind. He fared far better than I did on day one as I began suffering a nasty cold that would linger for the next three days or so.

It's Thanksgiving this weekend, so I will be too busy stuffing my face making up for all the calories I burned while riding seven days straight. No time for blogging. I will put this out there though, my new 2011 Niner Jet 9 will be officially up for sale next week. It will be a killer deal on a bike that was only ridden seven times. Nothing against the bike - it rocked the trails - it's just full suspension and gears are not for me, at least not until I am too old and fragile to pedal a rigid single speed any longer. I thought that I was ready to make the move back to full suspension/gears, but this trip (even with it's very technical trails) has made me realize how much I love riding SS. More on the sale of the bike next week.

Clicky clicky my FLICKR sidebar dealie for all my uploaded photos of the trip ------------>

Colo-freak'n-awesome

2011-10-06T08:42:00.001-04:00

I'm back from the 2nd annual Tour de Goat. My legs are spent and I am tired. So much to say, so much to show. This year's trip was even more fun than last year. More to come later in the week.

2011-09-26T15:13:00.000-04:00

Weird, John Denver sings about leaving on a jet plane AND tomorrow I am leaving on a jet plane and going to Denver. What are the chances?!?!?

Gone for a weeks worth of riding in Colorado and Utah. Dicky has gone and broke my secret that I won't be taking the diSSent down south to ride. What will I be on?

Taa daa........ a Niner Jet 9. 4" in the front and 3" in the rear should feel like a couch compared to what I've been riding.

After almost five years away from full suspension, four on single speed, and the past three fully rigid, it feels a little strange to be going back to full suspension. And I have yet to even ride the Jet 9 (or any full suspension bike, for that matter, in five years). It's waiting for me at Golden Bike Shop in Golden, CO. Mike and Adam at Golden set me up with a wicked ride. Cheers fellas!

Part of the reason for the Niner is last year I suffered miserably with all the climbing in CO. I was a tad overweight (funny how I still am) and maybe not in the best shape of the season, but it was the single speeding up the numerous climbs that torched me. I didn't want to go back this year and suffer like I did last. By the fourth and fifth day riding last year my legs did come around, but by that point the damage was done. Being pooped while climbing is one thing, but being too tired to control the bike on the descents is another. Last year I bit it big time and dislocated my sternum on the first day.

From what the Goat has told us, most of the riding we'll be doing is in Utah and around Moab. Maybe I should be taking the SS - there's not that much climbing in Utah, is there?!? To be honest, I feel like a bit of a sell out not taking the single speed. What's going to make me special and stand out from the rest? I guess I'll have to cover up the tattoos and keep the surly attitude in check. I've already shaved off my soul patch too. Is this the end of single speeding?

No. No it isn't. I will continue to single speed and do so fully rigid - I very much love it. More on that when I return.

So . . . I'll be gone for a week and I doubt that there will be any blog-o updates unless Dicky or the Goat take along their laptops that I can use, and even then I doubt that I will have the motivation or the energy to post anything. So until then, as always, David Hasselholf dollies for everyone (you can print these out at home, colour them and act out your favourite Night Rider scenes).

2nd Annual Tour de Goat

2011-09-21T10:43:00.000-04:00

Next week I fly down to Colorado. I think that the Tour de Goat is going to become an annual pilgrimage for me. What's different this year is the addition of more riders. This is an attempt to surround myself with as many people possible to suffer the effects of riding at altitude and climbing up big steep mountain sides and hopes that they will carry my stuff and ride behind me pushing my fat arse up the hills. I was absolutely blown away by the sheer beauty and the frick'n freak'ishly fantastic trails we rode. Can't wait to see what the Goat has in store for us this year.

Suspects:

The Ring Leader - a.k.a. "Goat"

Kaa Booom! Would you follow this guy on a ride?

Physical Description - resembles a hairy, over weight Patrick Swasey without the rugged good looks
Talent - epic route navigator, finder and instill'er of painful long climbs, freak'ish descender
Weakness - spends too much time grooming facial hair, breaking bikes and eating M&Ms

The Driver - a.k.a. "Dr. Claw"

Dr Claw starts his day and ends his rides on a morphine drip.

Physical Description - mechanical left hand, looks like your dentist

Talent - finding places to fall where most would not , teasing foreigners, and baking specialty cakes
Weakness - has a hidden crush on Carnadians

The Brains/Eye Candy - a.k.a. "Curvy Butt"

More chins than a China-Town phone book.

Physical Description - one booty'licious backside that Jennifer Lopez would be jealous over
Talent - track stands, inflating a tent from the inside with lower GI tract flatulence
Weakness - Faberge eggs, micro brewed beer and chocolate covered marshmallow brooms

The Muscle - a.k.a. "Dicky"

Why do you have a baby carrot and two raisins stuck down the front of your bib shorts?

Physical Description - skinny ass, chub sprouting, little man
Talent - coupon clipping, mooching off the bicycle industry and climbing hills
Weakness - obsessive compulsive hoarder and hears voices

Mtn Biking Is Fun

2011-09-20T12:30:00.000-04:00

Two mountain bike rides on the weekend. Both with friends, two who I don't often get to ride with much anymore, both fun as hell.

South March Highlands ride with Lenny on Saturday was mellow and fun. Kanata Lakes is in great shape.

Sunday's ride was with Curvy and King. It was only King's sixth or so mtn bike ride of the season. You wouldn't know it as he had no problem (unless you call puking three times a problem) keeping up on our Chelsea/Foreplay loop. The trails over in the Gats were in stellar shape.

Both days were absolutely perfect, weather wise, for riding and both were in my top five fun rides of the season.

New Dwags and Bike Show

2011-09-19T09:07:00.000-04:00

I finally got some new mtn bike shoes after my two season old Shimano's bit the dust and split down the middle. Went down to Tall Tree Cycles and picked up a pair of last year's Specialized Comp Pros. These shoes are uber duber comfy, wide toe box, nice and stiff in the sole for SS'ing, but the lugs on the sole still grippy enough to provide good traction when off the bike.

Speaking of Tall Trees, check out their blog. This coming Friday they are hosting the Westboro Bike Show (clicky clicky for more info).

More on Montreal

2011-09-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

Dude has been crushing it.

Gilbert is the man. What a phenominal season he has been having. It was a definite highlight seeing him. He flatted, crashed and still managed to come in third on the day after a late sprint to bridge the gap at the finish. Montreal Gazette Article.

If you said Jonathan Vaughters, current team manager for pro-cycling team Garmin-Cervelo, from the other day's question, "Looky look who I met at the race?", you'd be correct.

I spotted Vaughters sitting alone on the barricades about halfway up the Mount Royal climb. After some hesitation I went over and introduced myself, shook his hand and had a little chat. He was friendly and did not seem put out by my approach. I was actually surprised that he didn't approach me first. I mean, come on, I'm the original big ring. Pffffffft. Curvy managed to catch our interaction on film in between shooting photos of hotties on the hill.

I got a bunch of video of the race but am too lazy to down load it or up load it or edit all of it. Here's one clip of the fourth last lap as the leaders and chasing peleton near the peak of Mont Royal.

Busy Frigg'n Cycling Weekend

2011-09-13T20:15:00.000-04:00

You a don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out this post . . . it was a busy frigg'in weekend of cycling. Friday I got out with Curvy, Scott and timid Tim for a easy peasy fun ride out in South March Highlands on the mtn bikes. It was a good ride to loosen the legs for Saturday.

Saturday was a 200 km, there and back, ride to Westport. It was a mostly flat, gentle rolling landscape with a few hills 10 km or so before and around Westport. It was my longest ride of the year and much needed to prep the legs for the long days of riding to come down in Colorado at the end of the month.

A stop at world famous Schwartz's Deli made up for the depleted calories of the long ride on Saturday. On Sunday Curvy, Declan, Chrissie, The Peanut and I cruised into Belle de Provence to take in the Montreal Grand Prix - before the race we had smoked meat sandwiches, fries, dill pickles, coleslaw and cherry coke.

The Peanut and Schwartz's.

Curvy used my camera all day as he forgot his at home while I filmed on the GoPro. Downloaded all the photos Sunday night and I see this - Devil with the blue dress on. Ahhh, to be young and single again.

Looky look who I met at the race. Any ideas?

Closing on the peak on Mont Royal.

Curvy strikes again.

There was a strong contingent of Ottawa folks at the race (and why not when Montreal is only like 2 hours away). We ran into Matt near the top of the Mount Royal climb. Matt is either describing the fish that he caught on a recent fishing expedition or gesturing that my belly (in the forefront) is getting way out of proportion to the rest of my body.

The chase picks up on the last lap.

Chrissie was a super trooper looking after the wee ones while Curvy and I were off snapping photos and taking in the race.

Donate a bike this weekend, please and thank you.

2011-09-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

Clicky clicky for more info.

Wind

2011-09-07T09:00:00.000-04:00

A windy day is a double edged sword - your friend on the way out of town, your mortal foe on the way back in. Curvy Butt and I put down around 110'ish kms on Labour Day.

I thought that we would only be labouring for half the ride (coming north back into town), however with the wind at our backs heading south it was too much fun to push the speed up. For a long slow distance ride, the tempo was more around a "moderate" pace throughout the ride.

Early September seems too early to have a grey cool Fall day, but that's what we got.

Yesterday was not nearly as windy, but it was crisp with a northerly blowing into the valley.

70 kms Tuesday morning. I'm cramming in the miles and working on the conditioning to get ready for my new annual pilgrimage to Colorado.

Two Rides

2011-09-01T21:07:00.000-04:00

Since Hot August Nights I've gotten out for two very different rides. The first on Wednesday afternoon was a solo 110 km road/gravel ride at a moderate pace. Got to up the miles for a trip down south to higher elevations in less than a month.

Mt Cascade loop counter clockwise from Ottawa - that way you get to bomb down the 18% hill instead of climbing it.

With names like Chamonix and Matterhorn you can expect a little climbing on the Quebec side.

Water bottle fill up at the spring in Wakefield.

There's a reason there is a church built on the side of the hill on Chemin Saint Clement.......if you die trying on it's steep climb, at least you're close to last rites. It ain't 'that' bad - short and pitchy though!

Cross Loop Rd is getting lots of construction on the 105 end with the new section of highway and overpass - still all rideable though.

The second ride, Thursday afternoon, was a much shorter, albiet MUCH more technical ride on the mountain bike out in South March Highlands with Fritz and Ted.

Check out Fritz's Fat Back! Holy frigg'n cow! I got a chance to ride it on the rocky, rooty, techy trail and it was un-freak'in-be-lievable. I have to have one. Snow bikes in Ottawa have gained huge popularity over the past year or so. No surprise, we're buried in snow almost 5-6 months of the year.

Weekends ride include: riding to work, riding home from work, riding to work, riding home from work, riding to work, and riding home from work. Monday, long miles with Curvy Butt planned.

Hot August Nights 2011

2011-08-29T22:12:00.000-04:00

I'll write nothing about this year's Chico Racing Hot August Nights 24 Hr Race other than this: I had fun, I was slow, I ate chips, I was abnormally tired from a long two weeks of night shift, and I won a water bottle by pushing over a child.

Worked all night Thursday, got home at 7:30 AM, hit the hay for four hours, then Richard picked me up to drive five hours to the race.

Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C".

The only shot of the entire race course. I've always wanted to stop and take a photo of this overlook, so I did - but on my pre-lap so that I wouldn't lose precious seconds in completing an average lap time for a non-professional, late 30's, over weight, recreational mountain biker. Time is of the essence.

Curvy Butt looked a little worse for wear.

Declan's first 24 Hr race and he smoked the kids field. His old man hopped him up on EPO, freezies and marshmallows right before the big event.

What a champ!

Camp life.

Gohardlongman in the morning eating some Chico-McMuffins.

For the love of Gwad! Rick has a bladder the size of a walnut - we stopped every 30 minutes on the way home so that he could take a whiz on the side of the highway.

My apologies for my seven other teammates who I did not manage to snap a photo of - laziness, lack of motivation and my dislike for you kept me shooting more. That is all.

Hot August Nights and We Du Team

2011-08-23T21:22:00.000-04:00

24 Hrs of Hot August Nights is just around the corner and I'll be heading down to Bolton, ON after a looooong fugging week of crazy night shifts. I've been burnt to a crisp tired all week. What better way to relax than going to a 24 hour race. I ~~must~~ am stupid.

I'd like to draw your attention to a very cool program and an even cooler story that goes along with it...

My friend Cat runs Trips For Kids here in Ottawa. I donate used cycling parts and pieces when I can to help out. I got a lovely e-mail the other day from Cat keeping me up-to-date on the progress of the program and a group of boys a long way from home:

Here are the name of the boys and where they came from all just one year ago.
They particpated in the Eastern Ontario High School Race in May and did very well.
They asked to go to the 24 hour races my Alex told them about.
I asked Chico if they would waive the race fees and they said yes.

Today I am packing, it will take 3 days to pack and cook for 11 of us, these boys, my two kids and Myself and Mario.

You can imagine 11 sleep bags, 11 camp mats, 11 bikes, 11 helmets, 11 place settings, 9 meals for 11 people, 3 sleeping tents, 2 dinning tents.

The boys have trained once a week since early June and have had two night rides.
They will be a all male team under 100 years of age.

Jordan- Kisangani, Republic Of Congo
D'Jemcy Pierre- Haiti
Yvan- Senegal, Africa
Yannick-Senegal, Africa
Walker-Haiti
Ben Leo- Haiti
Esdras- Cameroun, Africa

Those bike jerseys look vaguely familiar. Who knew two fast little guys would fill them out so well.

Chico Racing will waive fees for the 24 hour Hot August Nights event for "We du Team"

Remember the "new-to-Canada" youths that joined the mountain biking team coached by Cat Weaver at their school, Franco Ouest, who participate in the High school race last month. All of them completed the course well under the expected times for beginner racers, and since then they have been riding once a week with Trips for Kids Ottawa.

Cat Weaver TFKO program director, who has taken 5 youth teams to 24 hour races over the past 3 years, wondered if Chico Racing would waive the race fees for these boys.

Immediately, Adam Ruppel president at Chico Racing replied “Yes, we will waive their race fee, what better way to encourage these boys in the sport".

The race fee for a team of 5 is over $ 600.00, what a generous gift! Thank you Chico Racing!!!

The five young people who will participate in the event came to Ottawa from Haiti, Mozambique, and Burundi in August 2010.

Funds still need to be raised for a rental vehicle, gas and food for these boys, but Cat is committed to getting them trained and ready to race at Albion Hills August 24/25th 2011!

Check out the Trips For Kids blog for more info on the team and how they do at HAN.

Roads Less Traveled in Cape Breton

2011-08-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

Whenever I go home to Cape Breton I always take a bike and ride parts of the Cabot Trail. If you've never been or ridden the trail, you should really go.

But, I've done it lots and this time back home I decided to ride something different. So, I brought along some fat knobby tires and my CX bike and sought out the roads less traveled - old Cape Breton farm and logging roads.

Piper Glen Rd Soutwest Margaree

Steep dirt road climbs and descents

Mabou Coal Mines Rd

Mabou Coal Mines Rd with overlook of ocean.

Old farm/logging roads on the map but hard to find in person.

That road above turned into a riverbed which I ended up walking for 1.5 km to get me to another logging/farm road.

Met some friends in the highlands.

Some clear cutting of some spruce stands due to beetle infestations near Sight Point.

Inverness Beach in the background.

One of my rides ended at Inverness Beach - chilly windy day, no one swimming - I jumped in to wash off the mud and dirt and help the legs recover.

Cape Breton back roads look very much like Quebec roads.

Three tubes were sacrificed to the back roads.

Stupid Busy

2011-08-16T16:32:00.000-04:00

New workshop at the original big ring world headquarters is a mess and in disarray. A move, four days later a two day drive to the east coast, family vacation, two drive back to world headquarters, and unpacking from vacation and move. Stupid busy. Updates to follow with photos of some rides while back home in Cape Breton.

Original Big Ring World Headquarters

2011-07-25T09:31:00.000-04:00

World headquarters are moving today, tomorrow, and the rest of this week. Expect no posts and you won't be disappointed. And if you're interested in helping lift heavy boxes, please don't hesitate to get in contact with me. Cheers.

My Dwags

2011-07-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

Got out early Wednesday morning before the staggering heat hit. The Gats were quiet and I had the trails all to myself. I felt the best I've felt on a bike in a long while. The long miles last week and two hard interval/hill rides I did earlier in the week must have kicked me in the arse and got my legs finally feeling good.

Not long into the ride I dabbed, went to clip in and my shoe slipped off the side and got caught up. Couldn't figure out what was happening at first.

WTF?

My pedal is caught inside my shoe! WTF?!?!


My Shimano MO86's tore near the outside of the ball of my left foot and back along the sole past the middle of the shoe. At first I thought it was where the leather upper met with the rubber lower, however, it was right in the rubber sole that broke and split away.

Un-freak-in-believable

My first pair of Shimanos and the MO86's - which are my second pair of Shimano mtn bike shoes and have thus far been my favourite of the many cycling shoes I have ever owned. Looks like I'll have to use my heavier, older Shimanos. I love the Shimanos - they're stiff, light and fit great. The rubber is soft enough to offer lots of grip on rocks (which may have been their downfall).

Lacking Shelf Life & the F*cking "F" Bomb

2011-07-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

This blog is coming close to the end of it's shelf life. You might say it's well past it's best before date.

Milk beyond it's due date tastes bad - the same holds true for blogs. We buy our milk in bags and it's the first time I've ever noticed that there is a mtn biker on it.

With lack of racing, lack of reviews, lack of readership and followers, lack of commentators/insulters, lack of sponsorship, lack of entertainment, and so on . . . . it goes without saying that this blog is lacking. With less time than ever before and less energy and enthusiasm for writing I've decided to pull the plug on the life-support (one or two posts a week) that the original big ring blog has been kept alive on the past number of months. I'm saying fuck it.

Recent attempts at making this blog more appealing have failed, ie. videos. I haven't had a follower in months. No one comments anymore. My stats (which I hardly ever look at) are down. All signs point to 'what's the point'? This has turned more in to a riding diary, not there is anything wrong with that, but for all intents and purposes that's not what I set out to do. My intent was to get free stuff and have people tell me how great I am. That's not happening anymore, so phooey - I'm taking my blog and going home. Fuck it.

So, my 'pull the plug' date is the end of October. That will afford me time to do one more review of the diSSent ALC, document two more races, and share with you my trip to Colorado riding with Goat, Curvy Butt and a cameo by a superstar (yet to be named for secrecy purposes). Still lots of mediocre blogging, uninteresting photos, and some video to come over the next few months. Drink it all in my friends, drink it all in - cause when it's done, it's done. Fuck it all.

Oh, comment moderation is "off", so have at it - I don't fucking care what anyone says anymore. Even that re-tard Rainman (a.k.a. Jeff) can type whatever he wants . . . and so can you. Whoot. Fuck. It. All. To. Hell.

P.s. something has been bugging me . . . not one fucking comment on my last video!?! WTF? Did you see that shit? I totally rocked it out and dressed up and shit and edited the fuck out of it! And not one fucking comment!?!?! Fuck.

Anger

2011-07-19T09:00:00.009-04:00

This past couple months, especially the past week or so have been very stressful. And I've been angry . . . very angry. Restraint of tongue, pen and fists have kept me out of jail and the insane asylum. Situations, circumstances, people, places and things out of my control have pushed me to the brink of setting up the Dragunov on top of the old bell tower and start picking people off one at a time. I jest of course. Of course. I've been angry, but mostly at myself. Serenity now!

Yesterday I got home and was steaming at nothing but at everything. I didn't know what to do, so I got on the bike. A day earlier I had ridden in plus 39 degree heat doing a loop of the park and ended up with a case of heat exhaustion. I didn't think it was possible to even consider riding a day later, but I brain was telling me to go anyway.

Away I went, letting my pent up anger guide the bike over into the park. I didn't have time to ride long, but I needed to ride. I had to ride. I was going to implode if I didn't do something. I found myself a hill and began doing hill repeats as hard as I could. I did them until my legs screamed and burned and my lungs felt like they were going to pop. I stood, I mashed, I sat and spun out. I did them until I wasn't angry anymore. The Manx Missile couldn't have beaten me yesterday afternoon. . . . okay, he might but I would have gotten off the bike and pounded the snot out of him afterwards. I was driven by anger and thank Jebus I had a place to leave it. I left it on the hill.

Long miles

2011-07-18T09:07:00.000-04:00

I haven't gotten in any kind of long road miles since early May. Excuses and good reasons and lack of interest have kept me from searching out new roads, gravel and scenic routes. As a result, my longer trail rides have begun to suffer with my endurance beginning to fade later in the ride. Only one cure, hit the road for some long slow distances. Tuesday was the day just for that.

Big washout over in Cantley.

Quebecois are a funny bunch and love their cement lawn ornaments. Someone gave this one too many purple nurples.

Lillies were in abundance along the sides of the roads. LSD rides are great for stopping and smelling the flowers.

Gatineau River

So nice to get some long miles in, but nicer to come home to The Peanut. We've been spending lots of time in "Daddy's workshop working" - she now knows how to put the pump head on the valve (can't lock it yet) and begins to pump the tire.

Long rides make me tired

2011-07-11T10:00:00.012-04:00

'Somewhere' in Gatineau Park

Curvy taking a pee off the chair lift at Fortune.

Rocked out on Vimeo.

Cross Loop Rd

Is this working?

Healy Cabin

Meech Lake

Crack

2011-07-08T10:00:00.003-04:00

At a recent B4H Bike Prep evening I did my best circus clown on a wee bike impersonator.

I'm on crack. Whiggity whiggity whiggity whack.

Exploratory

2011-07-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

Saturday Curvy Butt and I got out for a 'connect-the-dots' ride. We spent time riding semi-familiar trails, ones we've ridden only once or twice and trying to find new ones. Success!

Swinger

Culvert under highway.

Poor dirty tired legs.

Part of our loop took us up the CBC climb at Fortune. By this point in the ride my legs were fried. I was already behind the eight ball from the start of the ride after being outdoors for 10.5 hours straight in the blistering sun the day before working and sweating my balls off. If you squint real hard you can see Curvy waaaaaay at the top, while I . . . .

. . . . was waaaaaay at the bottom saying, "Fugg that."

Both filthy and smelly.

With the exploratory riding we've been doing it's ignited a new excitement for getting out to ride. I'm looking forward to linking a bunch of new trails together and hopefully mapping them out.

Solstice Video

2011-06-30T09:32:00.006-04:00

Summer Solstice 2011 on Vimeo.

Got 18 minutes to spare?

Summer Solstice 2011 & B4H

2011-06-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

Myself and some like minded folks who like to volunteer their time for a truly good cause put their legs, hearts and wallets in the right place this past weekend and rode for 24 hours to raise awareness for Bicycles For Humanity, raise some funds to help pay for the shipping container to cross the Atlantic and have some fun to boot.

When not riding we were manning/womanning the B4H booth - Mark (man) and Lily (woman).

Hot seller - little, cute, wire bikes that were handmade by some artisans in the villages who would be receiving bikes that we send over.

Working the booth, eating, prep'ing and cleaning bikes, trying to stay dry and riding . . .

Curvy Butt took lap one. Check out Mark (Misfit Psycles) just behind him.

Luc

Bad ass stash and Go Pro on lap number two for me. Stay tuned tomorrow or the next for the video I shot.

Vegan Vagabond

While some rode, others sat on their arses.

I did my share of sitting (and shitting) myself. Upset belly and communal cooking/camping go hand-in-hand.

The big guy did actually ride his bike . . . for most of the race.

Was nice to catch up with Mark and Kim at the race. Kim, 5.5 months pregnant, did two laps on a ten person team - what a freak! And she rode them in like an hour and nine minutes on a rigid single speed. Kid is going to come out with legs spinning.

Most of the B4H team post race. Special thanks to Gilles and Kari for pulling us together and Gilles for all the great photos.

Mr Sociable

2011-06-21T11:26:00.000-04:00

90 % of the time I ride alone. I guess there are a number of reasons for this:

I have a variable schedule and it's difficult to find folks to ride when I have time,
people generally don't like me,
riders don't like my slow pace and inability to keep up on the hills,
my riding shorts have holes in the rear, which isn't a terribly pleasing sight to look at when riding behind me,
body odour,
personal hygiene issues,
awkward to have conversations with me,
I don't like people,
I accept myself and and am happy enough to ride alone, cause gosh darn it . . . I am good enough, smart enough and people like me (exception to point #2 above)

However, there are times when the stars and moons align and I am feeling a bit social. Last week was one of those times with not one social ride, but two.

First ride was the weekly OMBA ride. I rode in Group B - which was rather large, but still fun to ride with folks for a change, see some old faces and meet some new. On our return loop I ran into my good friend Fritz and his boy Riley. I opted to stop and chat and finish the ride with these two. In the end it turned out to be a faster ride than the B group. Riley, just 11 years old is a freak'n ripper. I'd bet that 90% of the folks who ride SMH couldn't keep up to his pace. He's podium'ed twice now at the Ontario Cup races, winning his first.

Social ride number two: hooked up with some of the old gang and some new folks to do a ride at Camp Fortune. Flats, fats and losing each other made for a slow, stop and start ride, but it was still a fun ride.

Tuesday Ride Photo Dump

2011-06-16T08:44:00.004-04:00

Ever had a song stuck in your head that you just couldn't shake? This was in my head ALL DAY Tuesday.

Wattsford Lookoff

The NCC - improving or ruining trails in Gatineau Park?

The bench on Wolf was too inviting not to take a rest on. No bugs in the sun either.

Fire Tower

4 hr ride. Mont Blue to the Fire Tower and a bunch of trails in between.

What sign?!? (no biking) Hypothetically speaking of course . . . if I were to have ridden this trail, what environmental impact would it have on it? It's freak'n machine groomed, hard as rock - you could almost roller skate on it. I don't get it.

A week's worth of stuff

2011-06-14T09:18:00.001-04:00

We came across a trail gnome at work in the middle of the week. There's some fantastic work being done out in SMH on the trails. If you're interested in helping out, check out OMBA's trail day this coming Saturday.

My camera couldn't focus on all the bikes (nearly 400) at the Bicycles For Humanity bike prep last night. In about two hours we were able to break down and prep nearly 120 bikes.

As part of supporting and advertising what B4H is all about, this year ten of us will be racing at 24 Hrs of Summer Solstice on behalf of B4H to raise funds and awareness. More info on that to come.

I've gained a few 'Followers' Down Under. Robbie was supposed to get a photo of one of my Jebus stickers (which she'd agree to do if I sent her one) on a kangaroo but at the last minute chickened out. Aussies . . . pffffft, I thought that they were supposed to be tough. "Knife? This is a knife!" While out on a ride she snapped the above photo and reconsidered approaching. I don't blame her. Check out the size of the arms on that roo!

I worked some very long hours on the weekend and didn't have the motivation or energy to ride other than to and from work. Each day I'd pretty much come home, crash on the couch and eat Bits & Bites (cause life is too short not to eat Bits & Bites) wearing only my boxer shorts. I couldn't even muster up the energy to take a photo, hence the re-created drawing from memory. Miss Pibbs (our illegitimate cat) looks at me in disgust. Yes, even a cat can see that I am an overweight slugg-o. Apparently I've also turned Asian from all the long hours of work and laziness. Me soooo huuuungry.

Sat & Sun Mtn Bike Driving

2011-06-08T09:32:00.001-04:00

Saturday's long'ish mtn bike ride with a couple breaks thrown in. My riding, as blogging of late, has taken a laissez-faire approach. Life continues to be very busy and I don't need the hassle of 'training' and writing blog posts. It'll get done if/when it gets done. 'Training' . . . pfffft. Riding is where it's at.

Gatineau - Wakefield loop is not complete without a stop at the bakery.

Simon and Curvy Butt . . . so many choices.

It didn't take long for me to decide. One maple butter-pecan tart please. The others are Curvy's . . . honest.

Lac Phillipe

Kingsmere (P7) to Camp Fortune, tootled around there, to O'Brien, to Wakefield, stuff our faces, to Lac Phillipe, back to O'Brien, up Fortune parkway to Camp Fortune, climb up CBC (fugg me!) and roll back to P7. Bugs were stupid bad.

I got out for another good ride on Sunday with Curvy and Disco Stu out in the South March Highlands - first time out on the very technical, 100% goodtimes happy trails in Kanata Lakes this year. Got bounced around like a ping pong ball, but was ubber fun. My camera shit the bed and didn't take any photos that I thought I took. But if I did, one might have captured Curvy's big spectacular crash when he ended up breaking his helmet in four places.

Mist

2011-05-30T09:43:00.003-04:00

The Fortune Parkway climb shrouded in a mist. Quiet and green. My favourite climb in the Park. Visibility was lacking which to me made the climbs seem easier as you couldn't see to the top of them.

Weekend off of work and of course it rains. The Worst. Spring. Ever. continues. Alas, there was a break in the late morning/early afternoon and I got out determined to get in a loop of the park regardless if it was going to rain or not. I am so glad I went because it was one of my best rides of the season.

Nary a car to be seen and very few cyclists Saturday morning. It felt like I had the place all to myself. It was one of my best rides of the season not because I produced high watts or climbed exceptionally fast, but rather it was an escape from the stressful & hectic past few weeks, it loosened the phlegmy gunk in my lungs & sinuses, it felt amazing to be outside on a windless, misty morning, all alone. With only a handful of rides this month I was surprised at how good I felt. More mental than physical.

Despite the North Loop of the park being closed for almost this entire cycling season, there is a glimmer of good news. Charles reported over on GuideGatineau that Saturday Short Loops begin this Saturday . . .

This means that beginning at 6am on Saturdays the section of Gatineau Parkway starting where the Champlain Parkway branches off (known as “Mica” to some) will be closed to cars until 11am. This section nominally extends to include the “north loop” (or “Doldrums”), ending at the foot of the Fortune Parkway (at Meech Lake Road). In the press release this second section was said to be closed to cars until 1pm. This of course is a vestige of the template text the NCC communications people are using year after year for this announcement since in actual fact the north loop is entirely closed to cars for the duration of the summer based on the culvert collapse near P8 (which also effectively cuts the “short loop” into two even shorter loops.

Yellow route will be shut down to motor vehicle traffic on Saturdays from 6am-11am to Saturday, September 24. (*photo poached from GatineauGuide without permission - yikes! Hope that's okay Charles!)

Quebecois style cobble stone on Meech Lake Road.

My route took me from home, up into the Park, past the Champlain turn off to P8. There you are forced to ride Meech Lake Rd to the Fortune Parkway. I was passed by only a few cars and saw only one other cyclist. Not one car passed me up Fortune. I spoke to another cyclist who remarked that motor vehicle traffic on Fortune was noticeably lighter this season, probably due to the North Loop being closed.

It's presently raining (Sunday morning). I think it's rained everyday in May. Thankfully it's muggy and warm outside - which means I'll be back on the bike again, on the road, this afternoon searching for my pre-season fitness and legs that I had begun to develop back in April. If you find them first please let me know.

B4H Bike Drop Off - All Week Long

2011-05-29T19:46:00.001-04:00

Bike Drive: May 30th - June 4th **ALL WEEK LONG**

Donate your bike to improve access to health care, education, food, water & employment in Africa.

May 30th to June 4th, 2011
Bring your donation to one of
9 convenient locations across Ottawa / Gatineau

What to Bring:

‣ADULT sized MOUNTAIN BIKES in working condition (24” and 26” wheels with frames sizes of 15” and up)
‣Please - no small children’s bikes
‣Bike tools, repair & patch kits, inner tubes
‣Gently used backpacks
‣PLEASE READ here for what we do and DO NOT collect

Where & When: ALL WEEK LONG during Bike Collection Week May 30th - June 4th
Drop off your donation at the following car dealers during their business hours

Ladies

2011-05-26T08:10:00.000-04:00

Not much to report here. The week is winding down and I cannot wait for it to be over. The month of May has been a kick in the cubes for sure: terrible gwad-awful weather, a hell'ish trip to hell, crazy busy'ness at work (Monday was an 18.5 hour day for me), the original big ring world headquarters went up on the market Tuesday with showings this weekend with hopes it'll go quickly solely based on the fact that I live(d) here, and to top off that hoof to the family jewels . . . I now have a wicked sinus infection (my second this year) after battling a nasty flu/cold bug the last two weeks. Fugg me. Needless to say, this is my worst Spring ever for being on the bike. I can count on one hand, that lost it's thumb in a gruesome table-saw accident, how many times I've been on the bike this month.Worst Spring Ever.

The past week not so bad. . .

Saturday I rode up and met Curvy Butt and Curvy Butt Jr. at the Gatineau races. Took in most of the women's elite race. These ladies were faaaaast.

Tu-tu, leg warmers, Teady Bear and Bike Helmet - at least she has my fashion sense. Sunday had me spending time with just one little lady, The Peanut. Pulled her around on the Ottawa River Parkway and Alcatel Sundays and the neighbourhood, doing some intervals even, playing at the playground and chasing some Canada geese who finally returned home to 'slightly warmer' temperatures.

I even got out for a short ride yesterday with four hours of sleep after working nights the past two. Slow and short ride, but it was soooo nice to be outside on a beautiful day with two wheels under my pudgey bum.

Kaaaa BOOOOOOOOM!

2011-05-21T20:59:00.001-04:00

Hincapie testifies that he and Armstrong supplied each other with EPO and testosterone.

Catch-up. Ketchup. Cats'up.

2011-05-17T08:57:00.000-04:00

Miss me?
. . . like a infected splinter . . . ?

Where was I when we last spoke . . . oh, yes . . . Las Vegas.
My wife and I were there for four days/nights last week for a wedding. I won't go on at length, but will say this:

LAS VEGAS IS THE MOST AWFUL PLACE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET. I FUCKING HATED EVERY SECOND THAT I WAS IN THAT HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CITY. I WILL NEVER, NEVER RETURN . . . . unless it's to go to Interbike and Peter pays my way.

We did manage to escape the city for two days and head out into the desert, which was a saving grace for me because I was this close (fingers about a half an inch apart) from going postal.

Red Rock Canyon


Know how to spell 'desert'? "Dessert", as in ice cream, cake and cookies has two S's - cause you'll ALWAYS have seconds. "Desert", as in Death Valley, only has one cause you only want to be stuck in a desert one time. I don't know about that.....after being there, man - it's beautiful! You wouldn't think that there is so much diversity and life in a dry, desolate place - but there is.

Hoover Dam

Money shot. I couldn't hook up a ride in the desert but we found some sweet single track while out hiking.

So, now I am back home and it's been raining ever since. I've been on the bike only once in the past two weeks (due to the trip, work, blah, blah, blah), but mostly the fucking shitty weather. It's THE WORST SPRING EVER! I'm selling the bikes and building an ark.

I did recieve a very nice e-mail on my return from a bloke Down Under. Seems that Iain is a bit of a baker and a 29" biker. Check out what he sent me:

Sour dough loaf and a Niner. Yum!

Breadhead to the rescue,

Iain requested some Jebus stickers (if you want one just clicky clicky the link <---------- ) and I am happy to send him some. Just wish we could have traded stickers for bread. Hopefully he'll send me some photos of a Jebus loaf or a sticker on a crock or 'roo.

FYI, the next week or two or so blogging will be spottier than a chicken-pocked three year old. Life has certainly reared it's busy-head lately on all fronts. Not only is the weather not cooperating for riding (which one would think would allow for catching up on shit, but it doesn't seem to be working out that way), but new added responsibilities at work, time with my wee family and the upcoming shift of location for the original big ring World Headquarters means nuttiness. I've had to give up some responsibilities with some volunteer work that I do and cut back on less important things for the next few weeks, i.e. blog-0-sphere'ing, watching the Giro and riding is going to have to take a back seat with sooooo much to do.

What's worse, I stood out in the pouring cold rain for nearly four hours at work yesterday and today I am sick. The weekend was looking up for slipping out for a ride, hopefully this cold will blow over by then. Until the next post, keep the rubber side down and your stick on the ice. Cheers!

Ride Of The Damned

2011-05-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

Tall Tree Cycles - Ride Of The Damned: Sunday, May 15, 2011

Viva

2011-05-06T10:00:00.004-04:00

I'll explain next week.

Lumberjack 100 Registration For Sale

2011-05-05T09:00:00.002-04:00

If you're looking to do the Lumberjack 100 on June 18th, and weren't lucky enough to get yourself registered in the fourteen minutes it took to sell out . . . I can help you out. I have a friend with two spots available for sale. Get in contact with me (e-mail over there --------> under my profile dealie) and I will put you in touch with her.

2011-05-04T10:00:00.004-04:00

My elbow loosened up enough by Tuesday morning that I was able to extend my arm enough to hold onto the hoods. It was my day off work, weather man was predicting rain before lunch time . . . what else was I going to do? I was out the door and on the bike by 8:30 AM hoping to miss the rain. As my luck would have it, no sooner had I gotten on the Champlain Bridge and crossing over into Quebec did I begin to feel the odd drop of rain hit my face. Tabernac.

Just near the P8 parking lot on the North Loop - road closure due to a washout. I had seen it shut down last week, but with only cones, barricades and tape. I guess people were going around it and getting too close. If it were up to me I would have just shut down the Northbound lane - that way cyclists could avoid riding on Meech Lake Rd. which can get busy, is fairly narrow and the asphalt is in rough shape. According to Guide Gatineau's blog, the NCC will have this completely shut down until July/August.

I decided to press on and try my luck for as long as I could hoping not to get too wet. By the time I was in the park the intermittent rain had ceased. When I left the house it was only 7 degrees out and I had neglected to take a raincoat. Thankfully the rain would hold off until my descent down Blacks and I was able to avoid getting caught in the heavier precipitation later in the day, which surely would have resulted in me getting hypothermia.

Was nice to be on the Fortune Climb - I do believe it's my most favourite road climb in the park.

It was my third ride in the park in five days. The first was very disappointing from a fitness, power, ability to climb hills perspective - very humbling to say the least. The second ride with Curvy was a little better as I had someone to push me a bit and had a wheel to follow. Tuesday's ride was much better. My legs felt a noticeable difference on the climbs and my computer confirmed that my pace had quickened since Friday . . . still slower than cold molasses compared to most, but it was still comforting to see an improvement.

The forest looked soaked. No doubt it is considering all the rain we've had so far this Spring. I don't know what people are thinking going out and riding on such wet trails. For example,

Poached from the OMBA website under this thread.

I 'get' that people are itching to ride. I am too. But for the love of Jebus, stay off the freak'in trails (at least the more sensitive ones) until they have a chance to dry out . . .

Worst. Spring. Ever.

. . . too bad that doesn't look like any time soon though.

Joint

2011-05-03T10:00:00.003-04:00

I broke the radial head on my left arm four or five years ago while riding in the Fall. Was just riding along, went over what looked to be a small drop off a rock ledge into some fallen leaves and my wheel found a deeper hole than was reckoned. Over the bars I went with out stretched arms. Snap, crackle and pop. At first I thought I broke my wrist as it hurt real bad, but it wasn't until after I realized that I couldn't bend my arm did I know that something was wrong.

I eventually healed up and my arm went back to normal. Fast forward four or five years and I'm having an issue with it. Could running a rigid fork be a spur in my saddle, so to speak? Seems that every now and then my left elbow locks (but never while riding) - only for a second or two, but it's really freaky as it's totally locked out. It's a weird sensation and is pretty painful for a moment.

I went to a sports physician and he was suspicious that it might be a piece of broken bone or ligament or tissue that's floating around as a result of the break that's getting into the elbow joint causing it to momentarily seize up. So, to suss it out he ordered an arthrogram and CT scan of my elbow.

Know your joints? That ain't no elbow.

Basically the doctor stuck a needle in-between the joint and filled it up with a contrast medium that can be picked up by computerized imaging. What's hoped for is that a foreign body floating around inside will show up in the contrast medium. If that's the case, doc' cuts you open and yanks out the piece that's causing the problem. Simple. Dimple. Pimple.

I had the exploratory procedure done yesterday afternoon. The doctor was kind enough to freeze my elbow first. Glad she did, because the needle inserted inside the joint to inject the contrast fluid was a big sucker! Needles don't bug me, but poking them around a joint ......... essssssshhhhhhhhhh!

It was pretty cool though as I got to watch them do it and was able to see the live x-ray imaging used to make sure that the doctor got the needle into the joint. Once the doctor had the needle inside she injected the fluid - it's the strangest sensation, like someone is blowing up a balloon inside your arm - the joint gets really tight and it's difficult to bend. Afterward they sent me off for a CT scan and for the next 24 hours or so my elbow is going to be stiff and swollen as it's filled up with the contrast fluid until it absorbs into the body. Right now it kind of feels like it's been re-broke, but without the pain.

Now I just have to wait for the results to see if I am going to need surgery or not.

Weekend Update

2011-05-02T20:06:00.000-04:00

FYI:

Friday, May 6th Gatineau Park opens to motor vehicular traffic. Time to get all of your not-having-to-look-over-your-shoulder-riding in . . . . if Mother Nature will even cooperate.

Worst. Spring. Ever.

CN Cycle for CHEO

My day off and it's raining. Was really hoping to get out for a ride today. This weekend was a brutally mentally and physically . . . worked Friday afternoon and night but managed to squeeze in a short'ish road ride during the day. Saturday - an early day shift, a quick out and back in the park with Curvy, dinner with the family at friend's house, then home to bed early. Sunday, up at 4:50 AM and nine hours as the Route Marshall for the CN Cycle for the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario, then it was off to work until very late last night. I'm beat and glad the weekend is over. Was REALLY hoping for an easy, peaceful ride today. Mother Nature is a real mutha . . . she must hate me.

5 & 2 km walk, 15 km bike, 35 km bike and 70 km bike.

Over the past few weeks I've been volunteering my time helping organize the CN Cycle for CHEO route, liaising with Ottawa Police Service, the City of Ottawa and businesses that were going to be affected by the 70 km route this past Sunday morning. It was a huge responsibility, lots of headaches, big logistics, but came off nearly without an issue. Sunday came early as I spent the very early part of the morning setting up the route and closing down intersections. Then it was damage control, problem solving, assisting volunteers, and making sure cyclists were safe, happy and having a good time.

I've seen enough pylons and barricades until next year.

I don't have a lot of time to spare and give away, and that I do goes to a good cause. Both charity groups that I volunteer for (CN Cycle for CHEO and Bicycles For Humanity) just so happen to be bicycle related. If I am going to spend my free time helping out it may as well be around the thing I like to do.

Mother Nature Can Kiss My Fat Ass

2011-04-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

Fuck you Mother Nature. Fuck you. You suck. Rain, rain, and more fucking rain. I haven't ridden my bike since Sunday. Top it off you throw in wind - 90 km/hr wind gusts today and knock down a tree almost hitting my house and car. Fuck you. Worst-Spring-Ever.

Recovery Bath

2011-04-27T12:45:00.000-04:00

Easter Almonte-Calabogie Loop

2011-04-25T20:35:00.001-04:00

Ride began in Almonte, to Calabogie and back to Almonte. Total = 120 km, Average spd = 29 km/hr

Cloudy and gray at the rapids in Almonte at 9:30 AM.

Crossing over the mighty, mighty Madawaska River and bluer skies.

Just three of us - Scott, Glen and myself.

Water re-fill in Pakenham.

Good Good Friday Ride

2011-04-23T12:29:00.002-04:00

105 km's or so for the day. Ottawa-Cantley-Cascade-Wakefield-Gatineau Park-Ottawa Loop. Curvy and I met up with Scott coming back from a loop in the park and he decided to join us making a big day for him as he rode from home in Kanata - his total was 170 kms.

Photo credit: Curvy Bum

We rode the dirt on Cross Loop Rd on the eastern reaches of the park. If you've happened to pick up the most recent issue of Canadian Cycling Magazine you might recognize this bridge from an article on Gatineau Park and you might recognize some of the Green Bastards in that photo too.

Besides Sunday the week is looking fugging glorious . . . . . Worst-Spring-Ever.

2011-04-21T13:23:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter.

April 19th Road-Gravel Ride

2011-04-20T09:04:00.000-04:00

Rapids along the bike path heading towards the Alymer marina.

Top of Chemin des Boulders near the 148 in Alymer.

Long gravel roads - Chemin Terry Fox.

Only a bit of snow on the way up to Champlain - totally passable with no need to dismount.

Champlain Lookoff

Fortune Parkway - descending down from Champlain you hit snow/ice relatively quickly. Seems to go on for a way - didn't bother to portage it. Fortune faces north and is in shadows for a lot of the day. It'll be a while before it melts away.

NC Photo Wrap Up

2011-04-19T08:33:00.001-04:00

I can't be bothered to spend more time recounting the NC trip. I've got so much video to go through and piece together that's taking forever. I'm using iMovie - it's got some cool features but is horribly slow to upload. Anyone have any better options? So, I'm taking the inspiration from The Goat's recent trip and pictorial blog post of his trip to Moab to finish this off.

The ALC diSSent - I didn't know if I was going to like it or not. It's hard to make the comparison to the Fe since I haven't ridden it since last November. I did like it - alot. It was super responsive and not overly stiff. BUT, it wasn't pink. I'm intrigued by the new tubing and possibility of running a belt drive. More to come.

One flat/mechanical the entire trip.

Jeeze La-Wheeze would you look at that gut. I'm going to need more than seven days of riding to get rid of that monster.

View from Black Mtn.

My favourite traihead in all of the Pisgah Forest.

Gatineau Parkway Update

2011-04-15T10:30:00.006-04:00

I got out for a road ride today, only my second time on the bike after returning from North Carolina on Sunday and my first attempt into the park since I was last on skis. I've been watching Charles' Parkway Ice/Snow Watch with interest and wanted to check it out for myself.

Little bit of snow heading down towards the Kingsmere Rd overpass. No need to get off the bike.

Big patch of ice under the overpass. In the sunlight, if you didn't know better, you might think that it was just wet. You need to dismount!

The little climb after the overpass heading up to Penguin there is a washout on your righthand side - reminiscent of last years damage on the road in the same area.

North Loop (P8 Parking lot) is taped off due to another washout. I didn't bother heading past it, but I am guessing that the North Loop is completely snow/ice free - it usually goes first.

I turned back after reaching P8 and rode back to the Champlain turn-off. Here's as far as I got as the snow before Lac Bourgeois is thick:

photo credit to Gatineau Guide

Pink Lake still frozen over but shows signs of breaking up.

**Back to the NC Road Trip report on Monday.**

Blue Ridge & Bent - Day 4, NC 2011

2011-04-14T09:12:00.001-04:00

Last Friday we took a rest day after five rides in four days - nothing to report, nothing to show. I guess I could have taken photos of laying around the sleazy motel room watching TV on a vibrating bed and cleaning bikes. So instead I'll skip to last Thursday, day four of NC 2011.

Last year you might remember that Curvy and I were able to get a tour of the Industry 9 factory, thanks to Dicky hooking us up. Over the past couple of years we've been slowly discovering how influential to the cycling industry/world that North Carolina, particularly Asheville, is. It was going to be a difficult task topping I9, so when asked to hook us up again Dicky did not let us down. So many instrumental companies, riders and developers have come from or worked from this area of the country and it was our good fortune that we got to tour another big player in the cycling world - Cane Creek.

So last Thursday morning we rose out of bed, grabbed a coffee and headed out into the rolling, green countryside just outside of Asheville to meet up with Eric Smith who would lead us through the world of Cane Creek. Curvy is much better with putting together technical, wordy, descriptive blog posts - so once he has completed it and posted it here, I'll poach and post it on the OBR blog. Stay tuned because it was a very cool three hour tour that we were on getting to know Cane Creek, it's products and kindly folk who work there.

Climb and climb and climb . . . it's the Blue Ridge.

After our wickedly awesome tour we grabbed a bite of food, headed back to the squeazy, sleazy hotel, got our road bikes and headed out for a ride west bound on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Eric and Jim at Cane Creek were nice enough to invite us out to their regular Thursday night group ride at Bent Creek which we were very stoked to go on. So, we thought a short ride to loosen the legs would be in order in the warm 27+ degree early afternoon.

Tunnels

It probably would have made sense to ride something flat'ish considering we would be out hammering with the Cane Creek crowd later that evening. However, you'd have more luck finding a hair on Peter's head than finding a flat route around Asheville. Meh. We only rode for about an hour and a half before we had to head back to the hotel to get the mtn bikes ready for the evening group ride.

Beauty views, rolling hills, and smoother than a babies bottom road surfaces. I want to move to Asheville. Unbelievable riding there.

Later that day we hooked up with the crowd from Cane Creek and rode for about two hours in Bent Creek. They took us on an ubber fun, super fast route that had these two out of shape, pasty white Canucks working hard to stay on their wheels. Afterward we headed to Papas and Beers for Mexican and drinks. Eric, Kelly, Jim, Josh, Chad, their significant others and those who I can't remember were super friendly, made us feel like home and were a hoot to ride and hang out with. Can't wait to hook up with them next year.

*Note to self: when going to a Mexican restaurant, don't sit next to skinny cyclists who only order only one soft shelled taco and go on about how big they are. "Oh, they're huge?!? Wicked. I'll have one as well." "Big" to a skinny assed fast cyclist and "BIG" to a heavy set, big boned, bone head are two very different things. Always go with the LARGER option.

Blinky lights needed.

It was a wonderful day in Dicky's neighbourhood

2011-04-12T21:57:00.001-04:00

I'm going to have to work backwards on the NC trip . . . Curvy Butt has all my video and photos, except our last ride with Dicky, Big Worm and Josh on Saturday.

'The Plan' was for Dicky to come down to Pisgah to meet up with us on the last weekend that we would be in and around the Asheville area of North Carolina. However, a Daddy Daughter Dance and some sort of marriage-anniversary-date listening to a barber shop quartet at a mall took precedent over our annual trip to the south. So instead of Dicky coming to us, and after a generous offer to sleep on his floor, we came to Dicky.

The drive to Charlotte is only about two hours away from Asheville, but put us one hour closer to home. Win, win! After an evening getting to know The Pie and The Fajitia we headed to a local watering hole, which more importantly served greasy pizza to fuel the engine for Saturday's ride at Charlotte's finest single track. Whether it was the greasy pizza or sleeping with the many adoptable dogs on the chesterfield (that's Canadian for couch), I didn't sleep so well and awoke to the hustle and bustle of Dicky swapping out stems, measuring bottom bracket drops and the Vegan Vagabond snooping into his big blue bins.

What three locals could not ride, three Canucks rode with confidence, panache, grace and style.

We rode two trail systems (can't remember the names) in/around Charlotte - both super fun and very different from Pisgah. The trails were super buff, twisty, bermy, tighty fun with very little elevation gain with the odd technical feature thrown in to keep you on your toes. My legs were thankful for the break from all the climbing that we did in Pisgah and relished (mmmmmmm, relish) the smooth, fast trails.

Double chin? Pffft, it's April. You should see my gut!

Dicky assured us this was the most rad'est, hardest, technical feature on all the trails in and around Charlotte. Seemed he had difficulty with most everything Saturday, even putting his bike on his rack properly (can you spot the problem?).

Big Worm (a.k.a. Bill) rolls over the same rocky pile with ease.

Whooopty Doooo . . . . diddy doo.

Me soo hungry. Me eat long time. (Post ride Asian meal . . . pfffft, who eats Asian after a ride?!?!)

Visiting with Dicky, meeting his family and riding in Charlotte was well worth the trip from Asheville and was an awesome way to end our road trip. Cheers Dicky for being such a good host!

Every year I look forward and love my trip south, but as it draws to a close I look forward even more to returning home to my little family. This was a nice surprise when I walked through the door early Sunday evening.

It's coming . . .

2011-04-11T10:10:00.001-04:00

Back last night from North Carolina. A week's worth of stuff at home to catch up on and a road trip to report. Give me a day or two to get photos and video sorted. I promise, it's interesting stuff . . . 16 hour drive, sleazy hotel, big climbs and epic rides, more Mexican food than one digestive system can digest, my gut, puppies, sleeping on Dicky's couch and excited admirals.

Go-NC-SS-Hoff

2011-04-01T13:25:00.000-04:00

Thursday ride with Scott was my first attempt at sorting it out. Very easy to use and so many possible mounts on the bike. I had it placed about mid way on the top tube. It would have maybe more effective closer to the front of the bike as my legs pumping up and down are a bit distracting. I purchased the chest strap mount dealie and will be experimenting with that down in NC next week.

Daddy got a new camera for his birthday. Whaa hoooo! I've been wanting one of these for a long time. I had really hoped to be able to pick one up for my trip to Colorado last Fall, alas I have it now and just in time for a week's riding in North Carolina with Curvy Butt. Will have some editing to do when I get back with all the trails we'll be riding.

GoPro HD 960

The annual pilgrimage will have me riding with Dicky again this year for at least one day and hopefully will hook up with Bill and Eric as well. Dicky was also good enough to pull a few strings last year to hook us up with a tour of Industry Nine (clicky clicky for our visit). This year he's again waved his interweb/celebrity influence and managed to get us a tour at Cane Creek. Will have a blog post about that in the coming weeks.

I am looking forward to riding the diSSent ALC and comparing the ride quality to the Fe.

As I do almost every year that I head down to NC, I leave you with something to do . . . .

Angry Big Ring

2011-03-30T22:32:00.001-04:00

I am the big fat red bird in Angry Birds.

Today is a sort of a day for reflection . . . you see, it's my birthday today. Maybe as you get older and as your time left on the planet decreases you contemplate where you've been and where you're going. My first years as a kid were child-like and set me up for the disappointment, rebellion and confusion in my adolescent years (pretty normal). My 20's were a time for searching for myself. And so far my 30's have been a time for discovering who I am. Maybe my 40's will be a time for acceptance . . . maybe.

Over the years I think that I've grown mentally (a bit) and matured (a bit less). Despite the growth I still suffer from character defects. I've always had a quick temper usually brought on by tantrums when I don't get my way. My two year old is now teaching me great lessons on how to deal with life on life's terms and/or how to throw a wicked tantrum.

What's all this self-reflection, gushy crap got to do with biking? If you're a regular reader you'll be quite aware of the battle I've waged over my weight, specifically to get my weight down to make me go faster on the bike. This journey of self discovery and acceptance of my body type has had its share of roller coaster rides and late night trips to the peanut butter jar.

I weighed myself last week, hoping to see a few pounds lost so to make the long sustained climbs that I'll be doing in North Carolina next week a bit easier. Alas, my weight didn't drop, but actually increased by about a pound (197 lbs) . . . . and over the past couple weeks I had been trying to eat well and was riding! I completely expected to see a drop in weight.

It pissed me off. It really pissed me off. So much so that I kind of jumped in anger while standing on the scale when it told me something I didn't want to hear. It was unintentional, it wasn't to destroy it, it was kind of like a little kid buckling their knees in disappointment before they rebound back into the air in full arm and leg flailing tantrum. Yep, it was kind of like that.

Success! From now on, no matter what and how much I eat, I'll always weigh 2 lbs.

After unclenching my teeth and fists I was able to compose myself, breath and tell myself, "I'm good enough, I'm smrt enough and doggoneit, people like me." As I re-opened my eyes after my personal affirmation and look down I see 2 lbs. WTF?

I didn't break the scale, I just fixed it.

Erectile dysfunction and Carbon Players

2011-03-29T10:21:00.000-04:00

Is that bent up or down? Maybe I'm wrong and it's not limp.

Jessica Alba has been talking about erectile dysfunciton as of late, so it got me thinking . . . what happens when your favourite evil-run bicycle company's steel goes all limp and wrinkled like an aged penis ? You look else where for exotic material that can be shaped and formed into any position possible.

Kona's King Kahuna

If you're contemplating entering the mad light (and stiffy) world of carbon, you've got two more carbon hardtail 29'ers to choose from. I've never ridden a carbon mtn bike . . . ever . . . so, my two cents is really worth about 40.50 Malagasy Ariaries.

Santa Cruz Highball

I refuse to jump on the carbon bandwagon (which by the way is actually made of 2x6 and an assortment of other pressed wood products and completely free of carbon - go figure). I crash far too often and know that after a half dozen rides a carbon frame would be reduced to carbon thread and tears. I stay loyal to my poison and look to the future for swoopy, schexy curved steel top tube.

* Lame post? Yes. Poached from elsewhere and elsewhere? Yes. But I got nothing today. Nothing.

Cantley-Ottawa Loop

2011-03-28T09:30:00.002-04:00

I was dreading getting dressed Saturday morning for the ride. It was flipping cold out. Flipping cold. And there was a 22km/hr (with gusts up to 33 km/hr) headwind out of the Northwest. Perfect - I was heading Northwest. The original plan was to meet at P5 and do a two hour skate ski and then do a 65-70 km road loop.

Pffffft. I ain't skiing anymore this season. I do wish I was there to see Curvy Butt attempt this though - if you're drinking milk (or any other beverage), swallow first, cause it'll come out your nose:

Baaaahahaahahahahaaaa . . . . I laughed my ass off watching that. Baaa hahahaaahaaaa.

If I recall correctly I ended up putting on base layers on the skis, packing up the iron and waxing bench and putting it all away after my first road ride of the season. The trainer got packed up last week. Nothing left to do now but ride my bike outside. So my plan was to ride from home, up into the park and meet the chumps who skied in the morning. It's only about a 20 km ride from my place to the meeting spot in Chelsea.

When I was leaving the house on Saturday at lunch time it was minus thirteen. Stuck some foot warmers in my shoes as the last few times I've been out my feet have been cold even with thick overbooties on. They worked for a bit but ended up beginning to cause my little piggies to go numb because they were cutting off the circulation as my shoes became too tight.

The Vegan Vagabond's cockpit. Check out the size of that walkie-talkie (GPS) . . . I was surprised that she didn't veer off the road and into the ditch with the lopsided weight on the bars.

11% grade climbing to Mt. Cascade. It's March - I'm overweight, I'm lacking power, I'm slow, I'm the last one up.

I met VV, Scott and Curvy Butt and we headed. The first wee bit was pretty okay with a tail wind as we headed towards the Alonzo Wright bridge, over it and into Cantley. As soon as we began the gradual climb my legs wanted nothing to do with it. The past week I've done nothing. Nuth-ing. Meh. And when the get-away-sticks did finally come around and start pedaling, they pulled, tugged and threatened to go into full on cramp-mode for a few kms. The beginning of the riding season is so much fun.

Mandatory warm-up/food stop at Pipolinka in Wakefield. Curvy Butt - coffee and chili. I rode in front of him the rest of the way home.

VV, a vegan and Scott, a gluten free guy . . . freaks of nature. We made them sit alone as we ate animal by products and wheat. Pfffft, so what that they are both skinnier, fitter and faster than us . . . diet-schmiet is what I say.
Pass me another hot dog.

Scott's download from Chelsea-Cantley-Cascade-Wakefield-Chelsea. Chelsea is a 20 km one-way ride from my place in Ottawa. Similar ride here. My total for the day was about 110 kms.

Wifey bought be a fig-bacon-pecan-cinnamon bun from Chez Edgar. I didn't waste much time giving it a good home.

Blue

2011-03-24T10:00:00.006-04:00

If you don't know Tobias, you don't know funny.

I love my new blue tools.

More on the diSSent (ALC)

2011-03-23T12:47:00.001-04:00

Beefy welds. I wonder if that Donnie Darko badge could be anodized in pink?

New (to me) sliders. No tension'ing screw dealie-o to fiddle with. Me likey. Check out the beefy bolts. My sensitive side says that Peter made them this way because he thinks I am fat. My head tells me otherwise. I wonder if I could replace them with titanium as they each weigh as much as a pro-roadie.

Gold

2011-03-22T09:14:00.000-04:00

After my review last October of my Misfit diSSent Fe Peter suggested that I ride an ALC for comparison sake and back to back review. Why not. I love my steel diSSent, but it might be nice to try the aluminum one too. To be honest, I have not ridden an aluminum frame since my last full suspension bike. I am curious how it will compare to the steel and if I will like it as much or more . . . or less?

I was able to distract the crazy cat lady long enough from her longing stare into Gizmo's eyes to get the frame, bid my adieu, hi-tail it to Tall Tree Cycles to knock out the headset of Pinky and press it into the new frame.

The Vegan Vagabond was in the Big Smoke last week and swung by the empire for a visit and was able to pick up the frame for me to try out. Yesterday, when she met me at her door she was holding a frame wrapped in bubble wrap, but I could make out it's distinct colour - black with . . .
"What's that? s that . . . gold?!?!? F*ck me! That's fugly!!! "
Cheesy ugly gold and black. Yuk.

What made the whole thing worse was VV informed me that her diSSent had recently been upgraded with pink decals. WTF!?!?!

My beautiful pink diSSent will be on the sidelines for a wee bit while I test out it's aluminum version.

Gold is for fat guys who wear speedos, lay on the beach tanning by day and are into the swinger's scene by night.

I love paragon sliders and was doubting the Misfit version, but they don't look half bad - no stopping screw/tensioner bit to fiddle with either.

All built up . . . but something is missing. Can you spot it?

The steel tubing is slightly smaller than the aluminum, by 2mm. Need to find a 32 mm seat-clamp to finish the build off.

Pfffffft, gold . . . .

The new frame will get it's maiden voyage in about a week and a half or so when I head to North Carolina (who wants to come?). I am going to beat the shit out of this frame out of spite for the ugly gold lettering and lack of pink lettering. Dicky get's a complete custom build and I can't even get pink decals???