Wednesday, December 9, 2009

There's a garden gnome in my shorts

Cleaning out my old bike clothing and sorting through some shit to pack away for the winter I decided to toss out some worn out bib shorts.

I see you from this bum hole-ee-O.

An alternative to clogging up our landfills with unsightly garbage and if you're looking for some OBR memorabilia, send me an e-mail and I'll send you a pair of well worn, slightly stinky, skid-marked and hole-ee bib shorts.

Who needs Mike Piazza barking orders at you and acting as a personal manager, when you can have a whacked out Christmas garden gnome. Despite being two thirds the size of Richard, I can only seem to muster up one third the following. That disproportionate sized head of his, which sits on top of his bird-like bony shoulders, sure can type up some gooder English than me can.

In my attempt to gain a larger number of stalkers and ego inflators, I figure if I do what Dicky does and get I should be able to get at least one third of the number of his total (83 at last count, but could be higher by the time you read this as they seem to multiply faster than rabbits in heat), and at last count I had calculated that total to be 26.666666 followers. Since then we both increased one our heard by one, which now means I need 27.3333333 cult like followers by then end of the year to meet my goal.

Remember, my goal not only increases my readership following, it boosts my sense of self worth and self-esteem . . . . two things this world needs more of.

Act now and become a follower and I will send you not one, but two pairs of hole-ee bib shorts originally worn by me, the original big ring, as a free present (aren't all presents free?) for subscribing.

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