Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Deuteronomy was wrong

A long time ago I fell into the "Ride-Reward" program. What!?!? Never heard of it?

It's when you do an exceptionally long or hard ride and reward yourself with obscene amounts of food to replace what you think you burned in calories.

Now, there's a problem with this kind of thinking, well, if you're me there's a problem with this kind of thinking. Firstly, my definition of 'exceptionally long or hard ride' varies depending on my cravings for mass quantities of food. Yes, I do reward myself after an 8 hr race, a Marathon Challenge race, a long training ride (such as Sunday's ride), etc. However, I can completely justify totally pigging out after doing a loop or the park (aprox. 65 -70 km return trip from my house, 2+ hours), riding the trails out in KL, or commuting to work . . . . yeah, my mind is a little fugg'ed like that. I blame my stomach. Secondly, my idea of how many calories that I think that I have burned most definitely is out of whack with some sort of scientific evidence of what I did in fact burn. Again, I blame my stomach - it has a mind of it's own.

Deuteronomy was wrong . . . .
And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.
And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by PIZZA only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.
-- Deuteronomy 8: 2-3 (KJV)

Dude said, "....man could not live by pizza only...."

Count 'em. Yes, those are three pizza boxes. The fourth one is in the fridge. (Sigh)

So, Chris and The Peanut headed out of town Friday morning to visit Jeannie Beanie for the weekend and left me home alone to get some training miles in and fend for myself. I like(ed) to cook before being married, really I did. However, married life has spoiled me and I find I've become a lazy bum looking for the softer, easier way to strap on the feed bag when Chris is not around to cook (really, she enjoys cooking - and I DO do my share of work around the house . . . honest!). So what's a guy to do? Order pizza of course.

Now I can hear what you're saying, "Four!?!" . . . yes count 'em folks, four pizzas - over three days is a little much. Now, now . . . . let me explain.

First pizza - Friday night: ordered out - too busy watching the Tour to cook - large bacon, green olives, salami and tomato. I had a hard ride Thursday doing hill repeats in the park and didn't feel that I fully recovered all the calories that I spent. Justified decision.

Second pizza - Saturday night: store bought Kraft deluxe pizza - had to pick up some coconut water for my Sunday ride at the grocery store, so grabbed an easy cook pizza. Also got some sushi (that's healthy!), a bag of salt & vinegar kettle chips (salt loading!), and a small cherry pie. The pizza was thin crust and whole wheat, hence it's good for me right. I only ate three quarters of it - I needed to save room for pie and chips for later during the Tour at night. Justification: carb loading for my long ride the next day.

Third and Fourth pizzas - Sunday night: ordered out (too tired after my ride to think straight, let alone cook) - two mediums (what's a guy to do when a pizza shop has got a Sunday night special on!?!?!?) - one: bacon, mushroom and pepperoni; the second: olive oil, chicken, roasted red peppers and red onions. To be fair, I only ended up eating one medium pizza in total - half of each - and the rest sat in the fridge until Monday, which I polished off over the course of breakfast and lunch. Justification: big ass ride = big ass calorie deficit - fill yer boots.

Pizza the Hut in Space Balls
- one of the all-time-best movies ever made.

I've never put so many miles in and been so curvaceous. Go figure!


Anonymous said...

look at all the god damn transfats etc.. though.

Shawarma is where it is at!

this guy - http://derrickandnatashathedynamicduo.blogspot.com/

swears by them.

And, I just love them.

They are tasty. More so then pizza.

I'd like to haul back on a big drum stick of that fine meat they have hanging one night.

Btw: A good thing to do, I did last friday - is take a 6 pack or so. Climb from home via bike up blacks to champlains... find a nice sweet spot to rest your ass. Eat Sushi and blueberries on a nice warm day.

1) good damn exercise hauling beer around.
2) good damn vitamin D in the sunshine.
3) fine damn women to look at if you find the right beach!

Bring on summer cause this weather sucks big fat ones!

Disco Stu said...

Hmmm, and you wonder why you had stomach issues on Sunday, heh heh.

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing. I did a 3.5 hr ride and tried to eat an entire box of spaghetti (1 lb).

Some times I will be super hungry, eat a lot and still be hungry.

Bowl of Cheerios, bowl of ice cream, full bag of popcorn, cookies, Fig Newtons, Waffles and maybe some other junk food in <2 hours...still hungry.

Peter Keiller said...

i have demolished many a mid pack by speeding past their gaunt hairless bodies on downhills.

pizza FTW!

Kark said...

this post made me really really hungry!!