Monday, August 27, 2007

Self Loathing

Wasn't home more than a half hour 'til I got around to checking my e-mail. Bunch of stuff in my in-box, bunch of crap, couple good things . . . . . and then there was *this:
Man, I am a fat fucker.

I don't know when this happened . . . somewhere in between waking up every night at 3am to go eat a couple peanut butter sandwiches and daily living with the attitude, "I'm riding 'a lot', so I can eat whatever I want!"

Everytime I looked into a mirror, I just figured it was lying or that it was warped or hung funny or something. Fuck me! What a fat fucker I've become. I've got tits for God's sake.

Maybe I've always been one and am just realizing it!?!?

Please, don't comment on this post, things like . . . "You look great!" "You're not fat, you're just big boned." "What you lack in physical attributes, you make up for in your cheery disposition!"

. . . I won't have any of it. Don't waste your time typing. Time to face the truth, I am a fat fucker.
(the dirt bag, handle-bar mustache doesn't help with the look either)

What's worse is, despite seeing myself like this, I probably won't change a thing. If I do, it'll last a week or two at the most, then I'll fall back into old habits - I'll be up in the wee hours of the night rummaging through the house trying to find where Christine has hidden the ** cookies & treats on me.

It's too hard to lose the weight and stop eating yummy things.

How heavy do you have to be to race the Clydesdale category??

*Thanks for the pic Mario.
** we don't keep cookies and treats in the house, because I end up eating them all before Chris gets a chance to have any. But for the purpose of this post, it made for the most humor to add this in.


Anonymous said...

Coming from a blad (but damn sexy) man, my attitude is who gives a $hit how we look?

FAR more important is how you feel - especially when riding. ;-)

Vin Diesel

the original big ring said...

Well, if how I felt at HAN is any indication . . . . then I still am a sack of poo!

Anonymous said...

Remember, the camera adds 10 pounds!


The Vegan Vagabond said...

I certainly don't think you're fat but the name change on the blog made me laugh and laugh. Yer so funny BR.

If you get this sleep thing sorted out, the night eating will probably stop. Easier said then done.

Good Luck.

gwadzilla said...

I had a very similar post this week

and I got the same response

and yes
that last pint of ice cream really took it over the top for me

gwadzilla said...

and Vin is right

it is not so much how we look
but how we feel on the bike

but hey
we would be faster and hurt less if we weighed less