Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Does this blog make my ass look big?

This guy looks how I feel: a big fattie wanna-be trying to fit into a "pro" race it.

Maybe it's me and my sensitive nature, but it seems like people aren't visiting and commenting much lately on my blog. Has it been something I said? Is it the God-awful nudies of myself? Cause I can change.

. . . . No . . . . I can't! I mustn't. You need me the way I am. If not, why would you bother (though infrequently as of late - thanks you bastards) visiting my blog?!

So I blame you for these feelings of inadequacy, desperateness, and need to feel loved and wanted. This post is your doing. Shame on you all.

I think if bloggers looked deep inside of themselves and were entirely honest, they would have to admit that they blog because they want people to read what they've written; they want people to visit their site; they want people to confirm what they've written, posted and think is either funny or smart. Why would bloggers blog if this wasn't true? Who doesn't want to feel LOVED?!

I am sure that there are those few bloggers who blog for sake of "therapy" or "It's good for me" or a source of "inner counseling". Perhaps a they're psychiatrist suggested it would be a good exercise. Nope me . . . . not me, I've had my share of "therapy time" and I know for a fact that I am fugged. If anything, all of this blogging is probably messing me up even more. Why bother to change what's unchangeable!? Does that make me more loveable?

To be truthful, I have 'blog envy'. Let me go through a list of bloggers that I read and what they've got that I wish mine had.

In no particular order:

Dicky: this skinny little man makes me laugh with his cycling exploits and witty humor
Drunk Cyclist: big johnny and crew - in your face, "fuck you" posting politics and bike humor
Jeff Kerkove: lifestyles of the sponsored, bike industry, and training tips and diary
Pinch Flat News: funny rants with smart, witty writing
Squirrel: lots of photos, saying it like it is, cycling lifestyle, tattoos galore
Misty: sideshow freak, Vassago manager, no holds barred - God love her!
Duckman: Vassago rider who does lots of races & gets results
Tom: ditto for Tom, Vassago team rider
Jerome: prairie flat fixie and gear junkie
Gwadzilla: photos, photos, photos, unique style of writing
Keep It Street Level: admire the lifestyle and the simple "just ride your bike" attitude
Big Ring Racing: that's my teammates - whoot!
Vegan Vagabond: no animal by products used in her blogging
Dan Frayer: coolio photos, funny guy, signs each of his posts with "Love Dan" - that's nice
Dejay: lifestyles of a pro racer with lots o'facial hair and all round good guy
FuzzyJohn: if you read Dejays, you may as well read FuzzyJohns and has just as much wiskers
Sager: Canondale team rider who goes to lots of races, racer lifestyle
TwentyNine Inches: insider reports on 29'er products
Guitar Ted: if you read 29inches, you may as well read G-Ted, it's mostly written by him. This guy must get a ton of free 29'er shit to test and report on
Mari: True North team rider and 29" single speeder
Surly: who doesn't like Surly bikes?
Epic Writing: epic bike writing, epic photos, family guy who rides a bunch of far out places
Joao: my blogging, mtn biking friend from Portugal
32 Sixteen: cycle blogging across the pond - international is always better than "here:

So there you have it. They've got what I want and don't have.

Don't take pitty on me mother fuggers. I don't need pity. I need to lose some weight, get some money, buy some more bikes, quit my job, grow a funny looking beard, ride everyday, travel around the world, get wise and full of love, become funny & witty, lean, mean and good looking, save the world, stop eating meat, wear organic clothing, drive an electric car, podium at races, get sponsored up the ying-yang, tell you what to buy, swear more, get political, publish my work, become well read and smrt (that's smart), and more tattooed.

Or I could just continue doing naked reviews and accept who I am. Cause . . . .

*I may have missed one or two in this list that I frequent. Apologies if I did. There are lots and lots of other great blogs and bloggers out there that have stuff that I don't have and need and want . . . . e-mail them to me to make me feel even more insufficient and I'd be happy to post them up.*


MCF said...

Dear Craig,

From one sideshow freak to another - I could never be as good as you! You have one of the best blogs and one of the grossest (phlegm description) blogs I've ever read.

Seriously - why blog if I can't say what I really want to say!

Thumbs up - WAY UP!! *wink* *wink* YOUR SITE KICKS ASS!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Craig,
Thanks a lot for including me in your list. (Hope that may increase my hits today, Lance did and so will you)!!!
You need to have more sponsors, in order to have more naked reviews. That's how I met your blog, WTB Rocket V saddle review!!!

Next year if you come to Portugal I'll pay you a lunch, is fish ok? Grill Sardines with olive oil.
You said you should cut the meat.

PS. I need comments in my blog 4 days without comments!!!Why???

Keep blogging, Daddy Craig


Craig's photo in my blog:
(Google translator it's working)

Anonymous said...

Brother Craig! I love your blog man, especially the fat guy in the Lampre suit, now thats just NASTY, where did you find that?

hope all is well with the soon to be little monster, and hope Chrissy it great too! keep us informed via the blog if anything!



Jerome said...

Dude, thanks for the note on your blog. I'm honoured. Truth is, I feel the same way about your blog. I just don't comment much. Keep up the great work my man, I for one will keep on reading.

BTW, congrats on the new arrival! I can think of nothing better in the world than having a child. It'sa blast and I've laughed so much because of my kids. Sure, you do pull your hair out from time to time, but it's one of the greatest things in life.


the original big ring said...

Thanks Misty, Joao, Warren and Jerome for the kind words. Mucho appreciated!


Dan Frayer said...

I feel cooler since you rated me above Dejay.
My photos are not cool, I just have way too much time on my hands.
love dan