Monday, August 17, 2009

I'm back - bigger, stronger, faster





"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."

Not bloody likely. Two weeks off the bike and vacationing in Atlantic Canada with the highest obesity rate in all of Canada . . . ha, ha! I laugh at all you skinny, healthy, vegetable eating, correct body mass-fat index types. Haa haa haa haa haa . . . . . .

Yes, I had a relaxing holiday - maybe too relaxing. Not once did I pedal a bike - not by choice (cause I was really itching to be riding the Cabot Trail). The only reason exercise that I did was swim in the ocean and was even mistaken for a whale by beach-goers. Maybe too many lobster and too many of these babies:

Don't listen to them
- despite what health experts say, 1 lb of donair (a supreme donair from King of Donair in Halifax, NS) meat isn't that bad for you


I really did let myself go and it's no exaggeration to say that I put on about 4 lbs in just under two weeks. If I could ride a bike as fast as I put weight on, I might have been a contender. It's a little . . . . it's a whole lot sickening really . . . . my man boobs are bigger, my gut is plumper, and I'm carrying water like pregnant lady. What's worse is I got out for a ride yesterday morning (my first ride since the 101 - two weeks ago!) and was passed by everybody - and I mean EVERYBODY. Very humbling and it hurt (physically and mentally). I'm not worried about my base, but how long is it going to take to get back any kind of resemblance of my top end fitness? Guess that depends on how hard I go out and find it . . . and it won't be found in the bottom of a bag of salt & vinegar kettle chips - cause that's where I was looking all holiday.

2 comments:

Peter Keiller said...

excellent.
just excellent.

fucker.

The Vegan Vagabond said...

That's all he's been training for - to be a misfit. Now he can let himself go.