Friday, October 30, 2009

Most of you . . .

. . . . were right. And no surprise if you put two and two together.

If you're ever given the opportunity to particiapte freely in a pepper spray deomonstration, take my advice and turn it down. In fact run away.

If you're on the bitter side of John Law (take note future drunken participants of the upcoming Destalk AntiRace) who is feeling a little trigger happy with the extent and reach of his judicial powers and slightly trigger happy on his issued can of OC spray . . . run away and don't look back.

I can honestly say, and in my humble opinion, from the stand point of someone who has had numerous painful injuries, lacterations, concussions, rectal exams (wooo weeee you've got long fingers doc!), broken bones, pulled & strained muscles and legaments, a few surgeries, broken hearts and hurt egos . . . to date, being sprayed is in my top five most painful and uncomfortable experiences I have ever had.

Think: liquid thorns in combination with the worse sunburn you've ever had mulitplied by ten and throw in a good dousing of battery acid to top it all off . . . mix it all up in an areosol cannister, shake and have someone apply liberal amounts across your eyes (from ear to ear) at seven feet away. Good times, good times indeed.

Took me three hours to get my eyes in a somewhat open manner. The intensity of the spray causes something called acute hyperventalation syndrome - in other words it takes your breath away without even having to breath it in (more of a psychological occurance due to the extreme pain it causes). My eyes were swollen, bloodshot and sore for two days.

It was more painful than watching this famous interview.


Big Bikes said...

Hell, that's what I look like every morning.

I've actually maced myself.
Drunk at a small party, picked up a girl's key-chain, had no idea what I was holding, and like a curious (and drunk) monkey I managed to activate it somehow, spraying the stuff all over my hand. I didn't know what I'd done, my hand felt all tingly and I sniffed it, took a big, fat whiff, that was not a good idea.

I can only imagine what a direct hit feels like.


Unknown said...

I didn't even notice your eyes... I was check'n out your ass in the reflection in the mirror! :-o

Dan Frayer said...

In my pursuit of a challenge, I shall spray myself in the off season.