Friday, November 19, 2010

Time to Heal

This has been the toughest year, mentally and physically, that I've had on the bike since getting into riding seriously. I've had numerous injuries and illnesses. Only time and physiotherapy (which I am back at for my most recent injury) have helped heal the physical. The mental side . . . meh. Meh.
I've said "Meh" so much this year.
Sums up my season . . . MEH!

Since I made the decision to 'kind of' put the bike away' I've been trying to heal up, in all aspects of my presently over-sized form. First, my weight . . .

I wish it were this easy.
It is that easy.
It's not that easy.

Fak. I have NO discipline or will power lately.
I've had it in the past. I was down to 186lbs for the BC race in 2008. So I can do it. Motivation is needed . . . I need a big race this year.
I'm working on something, actually a couple of things.

The only thing that is going to help me to lose weight is being held accountable for my actions. The past year I've gained weight, had lower energy levels, battled through some illness, felt lathargic and lazy. A lot I can attribute to a change in career and demanding shift work, the rest is bad choices in food.

I need a change, not a diet plan . . . despite how professional Kim's Troglodyte Diet sounds, I'm not touching any diet that has a name or has been on Oprah.

I've been researching around and have found a nutritionist to work with to help me make some changes. I lined up my appointment for the last week of October . . . and until that appointment rolled around I had decided that I was going to enduldge like it was the end of the world.
My last lunch before my initial appointment was this:

I've been seeing Heather at Ottawa Nutritionist for the past three weeks or so. She's educating me and helping make some better food choices for myself that will revive my energy levels, boost my immune system, heal by muscular and nervous system by using a holistic approach. So far it's been good. She has a realistic approach - not once have I eaten bean sprouts and alfalfa (which I actually don't mind in some things), and it hasn't been a drastic change from what I already what I was eating . . . minus the poutine of course. My weight has begun to come down (was at 211 lbs, now down to 204 lbs) and I'm feeling better. All in time I guess.

I'm back in the gym. I've been working out before or after each shift. Short, intense super-set, circuit like workouts (40-50 minute workouts - who wants to spend lots of time in the gym when they cane be outside?). I put on muscle faster than a pin cushion, steroid using Mr. Universe contestant. So my focus is on muscular endurance to help avoid putting on bulky mass . . . some mass is inevitable of course. Been using many xc skiing dryland strength and explosive power training exercises to help, which will also be useful over the ski season - which I am looking forward to and plan on skiing lots.

Mentally? Shite, where to begin.
Will say this, I've seriously considered killing the blog, stamping it out, putting it out to pasture, euthanizing it. It's been more of a chore to write, partially I haven't been doing lots to write about. But it's partially some other things too . . . another post perhaps.

For now I will leave it. I'll blog when I feel like it. It was a change I was going to make anyway. I don't like being stuck into trying to blog five days a week. I use to blog seven days a week! Fak.
Guess that means getting bumped from Dickie's "Regular Doses" column and moved to "Suffering From Regularity" column. Meh. Maybe in the early Spring I'll get bumped back up to the big leagues.

I've also taken away my "Followers". Too depressing. I think I've had one come on-board in the past six months. Nobody is reading, and I can't blame them. Too much boring, self depreciating drivel.
I'm in a funk. What goes down must come up.



CB2 said...

I'm reading

dicky said...

Finger hovering over the left click of my mouse....

wv: refur

As Minhas Pedaladas said...

I'm still here Craig.
Suffering from the same problem!!!
I love bikes, I love to ride...
Am I motivated to go for a ride during the week? NO...

Same thing with the blog!
I have some photos, I've done some rides, but no blog updates...
Guess I don't have nothing new to say...
3 years bloging it's a lot!

Please don't kill the blog!

( It's difficult to start eating less)

Regards from Portugal to Canada.


Thomas Fletcher said...

Drop gluten for a while .... that alone will cause enough dietary change that you'll drop pounds, potentially pick up a bit of an energy boost, and have to think about what you are eating.

S&G Fries/Poutine still allowed =;-)


Big Bikes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Bikes said...

Don't leave us Craig!

Document your phoenix-like return.

- t

Kim said...

You need to figure out why you blog. If the why is gone, it makes sense to stop. If it's still there, then focus on that.

If you take a break, you might find you miss it and return rejuvenated. Or you might find you're fine without it.

Either way, good luck with the energy/nutrition thing. Looking forward to XC ski season!

the original big ring said...

Thanks everyone (except "anonymous" [a.k.a. Jeff C.] who is leaving douche bag comments that I will continue to delete) for the kind words and support. Much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

everyone is feeling burnt out. Every single person I talk to is feeling burnt out.

You'll see it first hand out there on the streets.

I betcha ten bucks that prozac sales increase as they did back in the early 90s.

its not just you that feels burnt out.

Anonymous said...

when you are down and out.. think of those that are put under greater pressure than you or I.
Rich Dillen. He has to be one of the most amazing riders I have ever met. He takes orphan kids into his home along with orphan pets. He's one of the best of the best out there. How he bikes all day then goes and races is way way beyond me.
He's truly amazing.
when you are down and out. Think of people like this who probably have it 100 times more challenging than you or I.
May we not forget these people that make the planet interesting.

for the most part, our lives are pretty pathetic really. When you think about it.

Rob Young said...

Hey dude, keep on trucking. Sounds like you need a change in direction. I too am trying to loose weight, in a similar boat to you. :/

I am still hoping you buy a large Marge equipped bike.

rick is! said...

is that last anonymous dicky in drag? get a room already...

blogging this time of year sucks. just like when you're training, you really need to take time off to rejuvenate and come back stronger. I swear off blogging every fall but find myself back at it with new vim and vigor before I know it. the vim isn't back just yet though...

Kark said...

wowzer. r/e Anonymous commenter..

Dicky, word to the wise. "restraining order"..

Unless, Dicky thats your P.R. dept banging the blogosphere jungle drums and looking to create a buzz around an unstable stalker story.

"endurance athlete chased by stalker across continent. Eludes would be captor on bike with one gear! Film at eleven."

Pretty clever actually. Could go viral if you play it right.
Maybe to add some legitimacy and drama you could be kidnapped held hostage in a well and fed only flies. 'it rubs the lotion on it's skin' etc etc.

call me if you want some outside consulting. Which is to say I'd take the phone outside cause I'm low on vitamin D.