Thieving

Since I'm coming off a wicked cold or flu I've had zero motivation to write anything. So I've taken the liberty of stealing stuff off others blogs. In case you don't get around on the blog-o-world, here's what's been out there the past day or so:

“I mean, [the ratio] was 11 to 1. You’d think he’d be violating every virgin within 100 miles. How does he even get on his bicycle?” — Dick Pound, WADA president, commenting in 2006 on Floyd Landis’s elevated testosterone/epitestosterone ratio after stage 17 of the Tour of France

- stolen from Mari & Dave

The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot really had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally though, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and more rude!

In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer!

For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed….. then suddenly there was total quiet! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude!

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, thhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gife bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

- stolen from Drunkcyclist.com

- Vassago



- saw this over on Gwadzilla's blog