Does this blog make my ass look big?

This guy looks how I feel: a big fattie wanna-be trying to fit into a "pro" race it.

Maybe it's me and my sensitive nature, but it seems like people aren't visiting and commenting much lately on my blog. Has it been something I said? Is it the God-awful nudies of myself? Cause I can change.

. . . . No . . . . I can't! I mustn't. You need me the way I am. If not, why would you bother (though infrequently as of late - thanks you bastards) visiting my blog?!

So I blame you for these feelings of inadequacy, desperateness, and need to feel loved and wanted. This post is your doing. Shame on you all.

I think if bloggers looked deep inside of themselves and were entirely honest, they would have to admit that they blog because they want people to read what they've written; they want people to visit their site; they want people to confirm what they've written, posted and think is either funny or smart. Why would bloggers blog if this wasn't true? Who doesn't want to feel LOVED?!

I am sure that there are those few bloggers who blog for sake of "therapy" or "It's good for me" or a source of "inner counseling". Perhaps a they're psychiatrist suggested it would be a good exercise. Nope me . . . . not me, I've had my share of "therapy time" and I know for a fact that I am fugged. If anything, all of this blogging is probably messing me up even more. Why bother to change what's unchangeable!? Does that make me more loveable?

To be truthful, I have 'blog envy'. Let me go through a list of bloggers that I read and what they've got that I wish mine had.

In no particular order:

Dicky: this skinny little man makes me laugh with his cycling exploits and witty humor
Drunk Cyclist: big johnny and crew - in your face, "fuck you" posting politics and bike humor
Jeff Kerkove: lifestyles of the sponsored, bike industry, and training tips and diary
Pinch Flat News: funny rants with smart, witty writing
Squirrel: lots of photos, saying it like it is, cycling lifestyle, tattoos galore
Misty: sideshow freak, Vassago manager, no holds barred - God love her!
Duckman: Vassago rider who does lots of races & gets results
Tom: ditto for Tom, Vassago team rider
Jerome: prairie flat fixie and gear junkie
Gwadzilla: photos, photos, photos, unique style of writing
Keep It Street Level: admire the lifestyle and the simple "just ride your bike" attitude
Big Ring Racing: that's my teammates - whoot!
Vegan Vagabond: no animal by products used in her blogging
Dan Frayer: coolio photos, funny guy, signs each of his posts with "Love Dan" - that's nice
Dejay: lifestyles of a pro racer with lots o'facial hair and all round good guy
FuzzyJohn: if you read Dejays, you may as well read FuzzyJohns and has just as much wiskers
Sager: Canondale team rider who goes to lots of races, racer lifestyle
TwentyNine Inches: insider reports on 29'er products
Guitar Ted: if you read 29inches, you may as well read G-Ted, it's mostly written by him. This guy must get a ton of free 29'er shit to test and report on
Mari: True North team rider and 29" single speeder
Surly: who doesn't like Surly bikes?
Epic Writing: epic bike writing, epic photos, family guy who rides a bunch of far out places
Joao: my blogging, mtn biking friend from Portugal
32 Sixteen: cycle blogging across the pond - international is always better than "here:

So there you have it. They've got what I want and don't have.

Don't take pitty on me mother fuggers. I don't need pity. I need to lose some weight, get some money, buy some more bikes, quit my job, grow a funny looking beard, ride everyday, travel around the world, get wise and full of love, become funny & witty, lean, mean and good looking, save the world, stop eating meat, wear organic clothing, drive an electric car, podium at races, get sponsored up the ying-yang, tell you what to buy, swear more, get political, publish my work, become well read and smrt (that's smart), and more tattooed.

Or I could just continue doing naked reviews and accept who I am. Cause . . . .




*I may have missed one or two in this list that I frequent. Apologies if I did. There are lots and lots of other great blogs and bloggers out there that have stuff that I don't have and need and want . . . . e-mail them to me to make me feel even more insufficient and I'd be happy to post them up.*