Put a bra on your face

I've got my studded tires ready to roll. Used them a half dozen or so times so far this winter. Haven't turned a pedal stroke since I hurt my back last week.
Found this option for winter riding:

If it's that cold out, you probably need one of these:

If you are el-cheap-o (and if you made your own winter tires you probably are), you can make yourself one of these:

Try stealing one from your 'significant other'. You're in bad luck if she is 'challenged' in that area and risk the chance of freezing exposed skin. I guess you could go buy one or steal one from your neighbours laundry line. If you play for the other team (not that there is anything wrong with that), a jock strap would probably work as well.