Monday, April 27, 2009

Eat Worms

I didn't ride my bike yesterday. I was bummed out for missing the race yesterday morning. Instead of riding I thought I'd make use of a cool, grey day - opting to ride Monday in the hot, sunny weather forecast. So, I wallowed in misery while working on a flagstone path that I've been putting down on the side of my house. Pretty mindless, monotonous work - plenty of time to think. And in the mood that I was in, a black cloud hung around my head.

Stupid dumbass. Why didn't you wake up? Should have set two alarms. Should have gotten a ride with someone. Should have gone for a ride this morning to make up for missing the race. Should-a, should-a, should-a. Then I took the boxing gloves out and began to really work myself over - you would have sucked arse at the race anyway, you're fat, you're slow, why do you even bother. And what's up with the blog?! Fugg it. I'm quiting it, erasing the blog and throwing in the towel. No body loves me, everybody hates me, let's eat worms.

Yes, my mind sometimes works like that.

Then I got to thinking . . . . if I quit the blog, quit riding (and thus not having anything to blog about) and racing, what would my *huge* fan base do?! Then I got to thinking about some of the lovely fan e-mail and comments I have received over the past couple of years. Here are a few:

Dear Big Ring,

I just wanted to write to tell you how your blog has given me a reason to get up each and every morning. Before coming across your blog I was seriously considering saying goodbye to this cruel, cruel world. Now, I can live vicariously through your experiences.
Thank you so much for giving me hope.

Joe Blog Reader

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Dear Craig,

Long time reader, first time e-mail sender.
I was browsing over on the Vassago Team Blog News and noticed that your recent race results were not listed alongside of all the other Vassago Team riders. That's a shame. What's up with that? From what I understand, you were included on the team basically out of pity. They saw a fat, slow, untalented bicycle driver, which no bike company would touch with a ten foot pole, and gave you a spot (again, out of pity) on the team. I'm guessing that their only hope of getting anything out of you worthwhile was your Naked Gear Reviews (which as of late have been lacking - how about getting on that fatty!). Besides that . . . . I think you're swell.



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How could I not begin to feel all tingly and good all over thinking about the above
fan mail that I receive?


Kark said...

Dude. You should never regret sleeping.

Keep in mind also that sleep is the time our bodies use to build muscle, get stronger and faster, so really you were actively involved in training but just in a different format.

yep, just think how lucky your competition is that the race wasn't today after all that extra training you did yesterday.

that said, I've had to replace alarm clocks that "didn't go off"..
(after they experienced the rapid deceleration bestowed upon them on my waking and realizing I've missed a planned event).

The Vegan Vagabond said...

do not quit the blog please! I would really miss the daily laugh I get from your blog.

I wish I received the kind of fan mail you do!

Matt Surch said...

Way to turn that frown upside down. Your mom is going to have some 'splainin to do when all her friends see what she wrote to you. I'm sure they all read the blog religiously, ever hoping for another naked gear review to get them through the day. I bet you're going to get a sweet alarm clock in the mail for Christmas from one of them. I've got a Zen alarm clock and it always eventually gets me up. Its the alarm clock that can get me up at 4 am and not infuriate me. Start hinting about one of them now.

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the original big ring said...

Samuel, thanks . . . but no thanks. I'm hung like a horse already.

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