Pre-race Jitters and Titters

I'm tired. Been tired a lot lately. Even short rides leave me a bit dizzy on moderate efforts. Don't know what's going on. Maybe my iron is low - haven't been eating as much animals lately. Haven't been sleeping well either.

I have a hard enough time sleeping, but throw in my biggest event of the season and humid, sticky evenings . . . . well, all I can tell you is a lot of peanut butter sandwiches are being eaten at three in the morning (cause what else are you going to do?). I haven't been nervous or worried about one single event all season. However, this is a big friggin event - big in lots of ways: travel there, logistics, planning of drop bags, nutrition choices, gearing, the distance of the race, what am I going to wear to the awards and draw prize show, keeping up with the fitness at home, finding the best route from Ottawa to PA, and so on and so on. Feels like my brain has been working in overdrive (so that'd be like two hamsters on the wheel at the same time - mind you one is overweight and the other isn't too bright, often running in the other direction).

Here are a few decisions that I have made:

• Gearing: going to run 32 x 19 - contemplated running a 20t, 18t too big . . . meh - one tooth either way won't kill me . . . . right?!? I still might switch off to a 20t. Maybe not . . . . well?
  
• Wheels: running tubeless - rumor and race reports have it that there are some long rocky descents - if I slice a side wall, I'll probably slice the tube too. I'll take the added traction and suspension from tubeless - will be my first race on the tubeless. Guess I got to do it sometime.
• Drop Bags - # 2 (40 miles) and #4 (80 miles) - aid stations are fully stocked for the most part. I'm putting a can of coke in each of my drop bags - Coke is the cat's arse when the going gets tough.
  
• Hydration - this was a tough one for me: Wingnut pack VS. bottles. I decided to go with two bottles. I've used the Wingnut only a few times this year and hate wearing it (not that it's a bad pack - it's actually the best I've ever used), it's just I hate having anything on my back when it's hot. Aid stations are roughly 30km apart - if everything goes alright (knock on wood), I should be good. I also find that using a bottle I am more aware of how much and how often I am drinking, whereas you can't see with a hydration pack. Besides, if I want to look fast, I need to strap on my tube and air to my seatpost.
  
• Awards - going with sling backs and a classic black dress - simple and classy, just like me.
• Saddle bag - since I'm not using a hydration pack and I don't want to carry shit in my jersey I'll be running a seat bag. I fuggging hate seat bags, but I hate wearing a pack on my back for that long and in the heat even more. I've cinched it down tight, so nothing will be bouncing around. Jersey will be used for food.
  
• Long lonely drive down - when I registered for this race there were a bunch of my riding buddies who were like, "Oh yeah. I'm in for sure." Fuggers. Where are you now? I still have room - any takers? . . . . .Bueller? . . . . Bueller? . . . . Bueller? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I thought not.
  

Do you really care what choices I've made? I thought so. You're more interested in the carnage that follows . . . . you'll have to wait until Monday.

But since this is my blog and I'm rambling, let me continue.

To be perfectly honest, I'm a bit scared about this race. First, I'm going to stop calling it a race - cause if you saw the competition you'd know it wasn't any longer a race. So it's going to be a big old big ass big ride. I use my usual race tactics: start off slow and gradually get slower as the race goes on, clawing my way to the finish line.

Cramping is on my brain - but I've been doing everything I can about that - will come down to hydrating, electrolytes and the heat/humidity of the day. Gearing - did I go too steep? Meh. It is what it is - if I have to walk some climbs, I have to walk some climbs.

I have no benchmarks on how to judge what to expect in terms of finishing times. I have no one to pace against, I have never ridden in PA, and I know a little about the course.

I'm looking forward to meeting up with some fellow bloggers/racers: Shockstar and Soiled Chamois and it will be nice to have someone to call home for me when I cross the line to tell my wife to come collect my carcass.

Hoff dollies for everyone while I'm gone.

Shake down

My reasons for no post yesterday is twofold, one: wanted you to drink the last post in, second: I've been sooooo freak'in crazy busy the past two days and it's not getting any less freak'in busy in the next day or so. I did get out for a shake down ride yesterday. Why so long since the build? Rain. Rain. And more rain. The Ottawa area hasn't this much rain in July, and cooler temps, for over 70 years (apparently according to CBC Radio news - what's not to trust?). I could give a rat's ass if it was hot (I hate the heat and humidity), but all this rain is fugging unbelievable.

identity crisis?

Oh she's a dirty girl. She's so saucy. Aren't you?! Aren't you saucy!?
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Unveiled - finale

Taa daa.
Pretty, ain't she?
I'm talking about the bike.
* note the Misfit circular death disc bikini top*

Late last week a big box of pink goodness and flaming heads arrived on my doorstep. That envelope in the box . . . . . my first big wad of cash for agreeing to ride for Misfits

Elsa was diggin' the new lid

Headbadge has got a Donny Darko thing going on.

Scarier than a fat guy in drag.

Misfit Dissent sans hottie

Handbuilt in Ontario by none other than Hugh Black of True North Cycles .

I'll be back to running rigid on it after the Wilderness 101 this upcoming weekend down in PA
- far too long of a distance, with far too much descending in rock gardens, to be running a rigid fork.

this ain't chromoly tubing - true temper platinum OX with true temper verus HT stays and aircraft 4130 TT with Paragon sliders
Want one? clicky clicky

Ever since I was a little girl I've always wanted a pink bike. Now I've got the bestest pink bike in the whole wide world.

Unveiled - part three

* next post at 10 pm - full frontal

Unveiled - part two

* next post at 8pm

Unveiled - part one

There's a new lady in my life.



* unveiling will take all day.

If you said . . . .

Misfit Psycles, you'd be correct.
'How anti-climatic to all the hoopla and poopla I've been reading on the Misfit blog,' you say?
I would agree - I would be expecting someone with more pizazz (or pizza) as well.
Meh.

Despite what you say, I am pleased as punch to be riding for Misfit Psycles to the very best of my sub-average skill range until I am no longer wanted or the business folds . . . either is a definite possibility based on my presence alone.

Why do you build me up Buttercup?



I can hear the groans now, from I'm sure the thousands upon thousands of readers on the Misfit blog, who are in disblief about Peter's choice of such a lackluster rider to join the team. After his slatherings of build up placing me in the same class as such riders as Lance, Dicky, Keith Bontrager, Harlan Price and Ling, among others . . . . I'm just out classed and out gunned.

Seemed like a good choice to me.

Placed on a pedestal, a flower pedestal if you will - a pretty pink one . . . . you have to really wonder about Peter's decision to bring me over to the team. I am certainly not fast, I podium only at races where there are three or less riders (and don't believe it's not a skill finding races with three or less single speeders in it).
What I believe is that Peter is still on the rebound after having his heart broken by Dicky's decision to ride for Moots. I'm not sure of his other failed relationships since Dicky, but I'm sure he became an internet predator trawling the inter-web waters for rising cycling stars willing to ride for the dark empire.

No such luck would pan out for him and he had to settle for a domestic - with lack of single speed bloggers in the true north strong and free, it was an easy decision or rather a surrendering to. In an attempt to keep me happy and content and wanting to stay, he's buttered me up, doted over me publicaly, and lathered me in presents to keep me happy and by his side.

Yes, the pink frame was mine. Yes, I requested a pink frame. Yes.
Big, fat, special unveil is tomorrow.

The Bug Rug

Anyone who knows me, rides with me, or even perhaps pays enough attention to my blog, knows that I like to keep all my bikes clean - the cleaner the better. My bikes have better personal hygiene than I do - anyone who knows me, rides with me, or even perhaps pays enough attention to my blog will agree with that.

And why wouldn't I keep my bike clean as possible!?! I put a lot of money into it and I spend a lot of time on it, I want it to work and look it's best. So, makes sense to me to use a bike bra, bike skirt (as Numbnuts likes to call it . . . . (sigh) "we tease the ones we love"), bike cover, or whatever you want to call it. I travel a lot to races and to visit family, so the bike is always on the roof and most often I'm traveling through north country. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, your bike gets covered in shit (road debris - bugs, dirt, pollen, moose, gnomes, etc.). Call me a sissy-girl, but anyone who has ever traveled with bikes on the roof of a car will tell you it takes a lot of work to scrub off dead, smooshed insects that have been baked on. I also like a bike bra to help dispell water from entering expensive and important parts like headsets, hubs and bottom brackets - I find the cover helps spread the rain out and prevents the high pressure water action that can take place if you get stuck driving in the rain.

My last bike cover I've had for a couple of years, but has finally succumb to a wear and tear. Reality being it was product lacking any kind of quality or longevity. Then why did I buy it? Lack of anything better on the market (at the time). What I did not like about my old bike bra was the second rate lycra material - it was loose, thin and would flap around while on the bike. From the get-go I found it to tear slightly and the seams began to fray. It was really poor craftsmanship.

In my search for something to protect my investments I came across and advertisement in an issue of Canada's thickest and most widely sought after bicycle magazine - Pedal Magazine.

Clicky clicky to link to The Bug Rug.com

Bug Rug - I researched into the products that they offer and liked what I saw. They offer a bike cover that fits the bike snuggly and completely - the cover wraps around your bars snuggly and then attaches over your bike tray/fork with a clip. The material is thick and robust, but not so much as it acts like a sail on-top of your car. The material allows the wind to blow through, but traps all road debris from covering your expensive bike.

They make covers for both road/cx and mountain bikes, in fork and wheel mount options. What's cool about Bug Rug is they offer a unique looking cover that comes in a number of styles. They can also create a totally customizable bike cover (for a very reasonable additional cost) for anyone wishing to go that route - which I can see would be an option for teams, clubs or bike shops. Finally, the folks at Bug Rug are uber nice and easy to deal with - I had my Bug Rug within two days of ordering it.



** This ain't the announcement you were looking for? Tough. Go pound rocks or come back tomorrow.**

I'm a heart breaker

I've been receiving e-mails and phone calls non-stop since my announcement yesterday wondering what the future holds for me. There have been some speculation by some, but I cannot verify any details on anything yet. I can let you in on an offer that was presented to me earlier this week:

Phone rings . . . .

OBR: Hello

Lance: Hello! Big Ring?

OBR: Yeah, who's this.

Lance: Your greatest fan!

OBR: Peter?

Lance: NO! Your BIGGEST fan!

OBR: Dicky?!

Lance: No, it's me - Lance.

OBR: Oh, hi Lance. How's it hanging?

Lance: Listen, I'll make this short cause I've got a little race that I'm trying to at least pull off a podium spot in and I've got some tweeting that I've got to do.

OBR: Listen Lance, I've got some things to do, so . . . .

Lance: Ohh, ohhhh, sorry . . . . it's just that I've heard that you've left Vassago and I was wondering if there were no other teams stepping up if you'd be interested in riding for my new team for next year? I'd like to name you first to the roster. We've got some cool bikes and stuff . . .
OBR: That's awfully nice of you Lance, but another offer was put on the table and I'm going to have to go with that.

Lance: But we've got cool uniforms and stuff. We got a bus. We're racing a bunch of cool races. We're partnered up with Radio Shack, so I can get you like any electronic device you'd want for at least, like 35% off regular price . . .

OBR: Like I said Lance, thanks for the offer but really, I've committed to another team that I'm tickled pink about.

Lance: Did I mention that we've got a bus and stuff?!?

OBR: Yep, I caught that. Listen Lance, I got to run.

Lance: But, but, but . . . . .

OBR: Good talking to you Lance. Good luck. (click)

What can I say, I'm a heart breaker.

I might have some details tomorrow.

Thank you Vassago

You may have noticed a few images/links from my side-bar missing - those being Vassago Cycles and all related sponsors. Change is underway, however I am not ready to go into details. I'm sure, you being the intelligent reader that I am assuming you are (unless of course you are not - then I am indeed wasting my time), you have pieced together the obvious.

Thank You Vassago

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the staff at Vassago for everything they have done for me over the past season and a half that I've spent with them. They have been fantastic to work with and supportive. My decision to leave has nothing to do with my relationship with them, but rather an opportunity to expand my cycling involvement closer to home. I leave as a friend and with much respect for the company and the people behind the company. Vassago makes rock solid products which have served me well and I enjoyed being apart of the Vassago team. I wish all team riders success for the remainder of their seasons and will continue to follow their progress and blogs.
Cheers.

Interview with Thom P. - part deux

Of your training, what do you feel is the most valuable part?
Just the love of riding my bike. It's all about the ratio of suffering to fun. I don't use heart rate monitors or power meters at all, never have. I work off a half-assed version of a Joe Friel training plan with some stuff from Cycle-Smart thrown in. One day I ride up hills on the road bike, the next day I do an offroad TT on the mountain bike, and I pretty much never do flat ground intervals of any kind on the road, I hate those. Honestly though, the five days a week mandatory commute to work - that keeps me in line all season long. I'm on the bike six or seven days a week, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night will stay me from my stupid ride to work.

Any pre-race/pre – ride rituals or superstitions?
I think it's more like metal checklists for me. If someone really paid attention to what I do before a race, they'd likely see me go through the same motions every time; patting my jersey pockets checking to make sure I have all my racing accouterments, tightening my shoes a few clicks, checking my quick releases. I guess I have a thing about not eating inside a three hour window before a race as well.


Back to the crime thing . . . . ever been arrested?
Um, yes actually, it was a long time ago and it's a long story. It was crazy driving related but not drunk driving related. I've chilled out since then, at least behind the wheel of a car, behind the handlebars of a bike...that's a different story.

What’s with your blog title – Big Bikes?
It comes from the title of a Kyuss song. I love me some Fuzzy-Stoner-Rock, gets me pumped for the racing.

Why do you blog?
I use to be a keeper of journals, I suppose it started out as that, then grew more into a way to entertain others by making fun of myself. It's also the only thing resembling a training log I have. I often go back to posts from the prior season looking for clues as to why I was sucking or rocking the shit at a given time.


You’re a bike mechanic – how long have you been doing that? How much longer do you want to do it? What other aspirations do you have?
A long time. Maybe twelve or so years. As far as aspirations go, I 'd like to get published as a writer and kind of work my way up the ladder of publications. Don't know how much longer I'm going to do the mechanic thing...working in the bike industry on the east coast of The U.S., you work as hard as an Alaskan crab fisherman (with less potential for death) and get paid like a Wallmart cashier. I do have an exit strategy...

Waist high shorts or bibs?
Bibs and baggies, I don't like the way my gut hangs over shorts.

Whitie-tighties or boxers?
Boxers and boxer briefs.

Are you a Celtics, Sox, Pats, or Bruins fan? In what order?
None of the above. I'm not a mainstream sports guy. I'm pretty much as close to being gay as you can be, minus the sex part. I seriously hate Baseball and Football, it's just a bunch of fat guys standing around, being stressed out, and waiting for something to happen. Hockey and Basketball I can get with, the constant action and athleticism appeals more to me. I have a lot of respect for those guys, I'll actually go to Celtics game any chance I get. The only time I ever went to a Red Sox game was when I was a kid and I was grounded. My options were to sit in the house or go to the game, I ended up wishing I stayed in the house, staring at the wall. You get less lite beer dumped down your back doing that. Yup, I follow Cycling and MMA. Svein Tuft is my hero, a cyclist who trains in MMA in the offseason. If Wolverine from The X-Men rode a bike, he'd be Svein Tuft.

Many of my readers are from Canada, but most are from the States. Maybe some of the readers can identify with you . . . . you’ve been to The True North Strong & Free before – what’s the coolest thing about Canada that you liked? Thing that puzzled you the most?
I've really only spent time in Quebec, and most of that in Montreal. I love that city. If you give me the choice between New York and Montreal, I'll choose Montreal every time. I'm always baffled by the topography between the U.S./Canada border and Montreal, it's like green hills, green hills, BAM! Who the hell dropped a piece of Nebraska right here? It goes all dead flat and farmland as far as you can see. That other weird thing is that it's all farms and small, quiet villages punctuated by sketchy strip clubs advertising nude "Danseuses". I picture some old, Quebecois farmer going (English translator on!) "Ya honey, I'm gonna head down to the store for some milk, be back in a couple hours, and hey, you got change for a twenty? What? Who said anything about nude danseuses? Where the hell am I going to find a nude danseuse club around here? Oh, you mean that place, next to Jean Claude's grain silo...right".

I'd like to thank Thom for agreeing to be interviewed. Personally, I had the time of my life, and hoped that you've enjoyed it too. Visit his blog if you enjoyed getting into his brain . . . even if you didn't enjoy the trip and you feel a little dirty, visit anyway cause he agreed to send me $1 American (that's like $5.72 Cdn) for every linked visitor. Whoot!

Interview with Thom P. - part one

In an effort to boost readership, which in turn boosts my sense of self-esteem (you know, if there's lots of people reading, everyone must like me . . . . won't you love me?!), I've added a hopefully new feature to my blog - an idea that I've been kicking around for a while: interviews.

I read a lot of bloggers in my spare time, some for different reasons: training/racing info, humor, industry insiderness'ness, bike mechanical knowledge, every day'idness, etc. I've got plans to bring you more interviews (maybe once a month or so - depending on if you like it or not, so please let me know). Purpose, besides getting more people to read me and love me, is to expose you to some good people (in my opinion) who you may share a common interest and/or find what I find in them while reading their blogs.

I've been reading the following blogger for a while now and he never fails to crack me up with his humor, his ill temper, and his bike knowledge.


Bio:
Name -Thom "Thom P." Parsons
Age – Uh, I always have to think about it...35? The whole racing age thing screws me up, I'm always tacking a year here or there because according to The UCI my birthday is five months before it actually is.
Residence – Somerville, MA USA
Occupation – Service Manager/ Cycling Advocate for International Bicycle Centers which has locations in Newton Massachusetts, Brighton Massachusetts, and Liechtenstein
Blog - Big Bikes


Do you have a 'Bawston' accent?
Not at all. I grew up in a pocket around Boston where no one has an accent. They breed newscasters there. I do have a couple words I pronounce with a slight Boston accent like "Far-est" (forest) and "Heff" (have) as in "I heff to find my way out of this far-est". That might not sound like what you think of when you think of a Boston accent. The Boston accent is really much more complicated and nuanced than people realize.

I just watched “The Departed” again the other night in preparation for this interview. Are you Irish? Do you belong to an Irish gang? Have you ever “whacked” somebody?
Nope, not Irish. I do have Irish roots intermingled with my Scottish roots going way, way back. Speaking of Boston accents though...The Departed was a great showcase for Hollywood having no idea how people in Boston talk. The only passably realistic accent was Matt Damon's. Even Wahlberg was pretty much crap. He's spent way too long trying to lose the thing, you'll notice he doesn't even try it in The Perfect Storm. And Jesus Christ...Jack Nicholson. He sounded like The Lucky Charms Leprechaun. OK, OK, you got me "Staaahted", here I go. Blown Away with Jeff Bridges and Tommy Lee Jones...Forest Wittaker the "Police Psychic" has a Boston-Irish accent...Forest (or Far-est) is black. Given, it's a pretty horrible accent, he basically speaks normally and then says "Arse" a lot, the point is that if you can find me a Black man with a Boston accent in reality (or Boston), I will find you a sober Irishman (I can say that, I sort of have Irish heritage). You wanna hear a decent Boston accent listen to Adam Sandler's "Tollbooth Willy" skit or even that douche bag Jimmy Fallon from Saturday Night Live. Actually Casey Affleck wasn't terrible in Gone Baby Gone Either. Great accent, horrible film. Alright I'll stop now. And no, I have never whacked anybody.



How many bikes do you own?
Gary Fisher Superfly Single Speed 29er, Gary Fisher Ferrous Rigid Single Speed 29er, Trek Remedy 8, Lemond Maillot Jaune set up Fixed, Schwinn Varsity Basket cruiser (also fixed), Bomber Cycles MTB Cruiser (lives in San Francisco with its adoptive parents, I get to ride it when I'm there), De Rosa "UD" road bike with 8 too many speeds. How many is that?

How long have you been riding for? Racing?
Riding mountain bikes since I got my first Rockhopper in the late eighties, racing since '99? Tyler Hamilton was just coming off his first Tour De France with postal, he did the Expert race and got like 5th or 7th. Maybe he wasn't juiced yet. I did my first and only Sport race and I remember thinking the Experts looked larger than life, so scary...all those big, pointy sideburns.

When and why did you start racing ss?
I raced it a couple times in 2005 and converted completely to SS in 2006, I've raced the geared bike maybe four times since then. I got the SS through a barter thing with Independent Fabrication, it was originally supposed to be a winter training tool. One day I was feeling unmotivated to race so I went to a race in the other series than the one I was doing. I went into it with the attitude "Let's just see what happens, if it doesn't work out, who cares?". I wound up winning the Expert class, beating all sorts of dudes who I had never beaten before. At that point I decided I was just too dumb for gears and that I should start riding the Single Speed full time.

What the hell is “demi-pro racer” mean anyway?!?
When the MTB categories changed over the winter and Semi-Pro riders were given the opportunity to go down to Cat 1 or up to Pro I went Pro but felt pretty silly doing it. I'm a 35 year old guy who works 45-55 hours a week in the middle of race season, it's not exactly ideal. A Demi-God is a Half-God, a Demi-Pro is a Half-Pro. Although claiming I'm even half a pro these days is a bit of a generous stretch.

Best time on the bike?
Ah, too many to name. Just this past week I went to Highland Mountain Bike Park and had more fun than I can remember, then Saturday me and two of my favorite Bros went out for a five hour single speed epic. That's as good as it gets for me.

Worst time on the bike?
Riding the road bike across Kansas into a steady 30MPH headwind in 100° temps going 8MPH on flat ground for eight hours at a time (I'll leave the metric conversions to you!). It was so windy you couldn't even tell you were sweating but I'd have rings of salt around my mouth and eyes and all over my clothes. It was probably one of the most thankless and stupid things I've ever done.

Toughest race?
Mile for mile the toughest race has got to be Mt. Snow Vermont. It always sucks it's always harder than Hell, but it I keep going back year after year. It's impossible to gear right for it. You have to go so low that you are totally spun out and out of control in the singletrack, when you try to pedal out of a corner in a 32 X 22, you feel like you've dropped your chain. I suppose that's true of and nasty ski area race done on a single speed. Man, it's gonna be fun if I do it as a pro this year. Close second, you probably don't want to hear this but...The Wilderness 101 a couple years back.But it was my own damn fault, I had pulled my ITB bands running during a Le Mans start at an Enduro event the weekend prior. I got down to Pennsylvania and couldn't ride up a hill to save my life. It was one long walk.

What’s the hardest thing you struggle with as a racer/rider?
Balancing work and racing. Trying to maintain race weight throughout the season.



* part two with Thom P. tomorrow . . . . underwear, being arrested and superstitions. This guy is a freak!*

Hit and run

Five cyclist hit and run this morning before 8 am. Just fucking brutal.
Say a prayer for them.
Story here.

Anniversary

Yesterday it was our fifth year wedding anniversary. I can't believe someone would stay with me that long!?! She's a special, special lady who's got a lot of patience, love, support and understanding to put up with me.

Got out with the family for a walk on the Sugarbush trail in Gatineau Park. Chariot in the background - The Peanut is still getting used to the sling that we borrowed from Matt (thanks Matt!) and only lasted about ten minutes before we swapped her over to the papoose carrier. She's still too young to haul behind a bike (needs to be about a year) - I eagerly await for that day - will be good for training in the park hauling her uphill.

Just awesome to find some real fast and flowy trails - not many trails like that in Ottawa - mostly rocky, rooty and technical trails here. Today's ride was a fun mix of both.

After our walk I met up with some chumps for a romp in and around the park. Rode some new (to me) trails - some techy bits and some buff, fast, flowy stuff. Mandatory climbing to begin with of course.

Was lashed about on some trails and found out why stinging nettle is called stinging nettle.

Capped off our anniversary with dinner and Bluesfest. A little rain didn't put a damper on our fun at the outside show as we got to see Cake and Blue Rodeo. So happens we ran into my afternoon riding buddies at the show who were trying to sneak in over the fence. I ratted them out by calling over event security.

Vegan Vagabond a vegan . . . . my delicious hairy butt. She's trying to take a bite out of me.

Happy family five years in the making.
Happy 5th Anniversary Chrissie!

Sepia

The Peanut, Coffee and the Tour

For the past week or so I've been starting my day off the same way - get up, make coffee and some breakfast and head downstairs to the basement to watch the Tour.

Let the grooming of a future cyclist begin.

The Peanut likes to keep me company in the morning by watching with me.
We flip back and forth between it and the Tree House channel. Elsa likes watching both because she likes watching brightly dressed, big headed characters with skinny bodies moving around.

I can't see the difference, can you?

Deuteronomy was wrong

A long time ago I fell into the "Ride-Reward" program. What!?!? Never heard of it?

It's when you do an exceptionally long or hard ride and reward yourself with obscene amounts of food to replace what you think you burned in calories.

Now, there's a problem with this kind of thinking, well, if you're me there's a problem with this kind of thinking. Firstly, my definition of 'exceptionally long or hard ride' varies depending on my cravings for mass quantities of food. Yes, I do reward myself after an 8 hr race, a Marathon Challenge race, a long training ride (such as Sunday's ride), etc. However, I can completely justify totally pigging out after doing a loop or the park (aprox. 65 -70 km return trip from my house, 2+ hours), riding the trails out in KL, or commuting to work . . . . yeah, my mind is a little fugg'ed like that. I blame my stomach. Secondly, my idea of how many calories that I think that I have burned most definitely is out of whack with some sort of scientific evidence of what I did in fact burn. Again, I blame my stomach - it has a mind of it's own.

Deuteronomy was wrong . . . .

And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.
And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by PIZZA only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.

-- Deuteronomy 8: 2-3 (KJV)

Dude said, "....man could not live by pizza only...."
Pffffffffft.

Count 'em. Yes, those are three pizza boxes. The fourth one is in the fridge. (Sigh)

So, Chris and The Peanut headed out of town Friday morning to visit Jeannie Beanie for the weekend and left me home alone to get some training miles in and fend for myself. I like(ed) to cook before being married, really I did. However, married life has spoiled me and I find I've become a lazy bum looking for the softer, easier way to strap on the feed bag when Chris is not around to cook (really, she enjoys cooking - and I DO do my share of work around the house . . . honest!). So what's a guy to do? Order pizza of course.

Now I can hear what you're saying, "Four!?!" . . . yes count 'em folks, four pizzas - over three days is a little much. Now, now . . . . let me explain.

First pizza - Friday night: ordered out - too busy watching the Tour to cook - large bacon, green olives, salami and tomato. I had a hard ride Thursday doing hill repeats in the park and didn't feel that I fully recovered all the calories that I spent. Justified decision.

Second pizza - Saturday night: store bought Kraft deluxe pizza - had to pick up some coconut water for my Sunday ride at the grocery store, so grabbed an easy cook pizza. Also got some sushi (that's healthy!), a bag of salt & vinegar kettle chips (salt loading!), and a small cherry pie. The pizza was thin crust and whole wheat, hence it's good for me right. I only ate three quarters of it - I needed to save room for pie and chips for later during the Tour at night. Justification: carb loading for my long ride the next day.

Third and Fourth pizzas - Sunday night: ordered out (too tired after my ride to think straight, let alone cook) - two mediums (what's a guy to do when a pizza shop has got a Sunday night special on!?!?!?) - one: bacon, mushroom and pepperoni; the second: olive oil, chicken, roasted red peppers and red onions. To be fair, I only ended up eating one medium pizza in total - half of each - and the rest sat in the fridge until Monday, which I polished off over the course of breakfast and lunch. Justification: big ass ride = big ass calorie deficit - fill yer boots.

Pizza the Hut in Space Balls
- one of the all-time-best movies ever made.

I've never put so many miles in and been so curvaceous. Go figure!