Time to Heal

This has been the toughest year, mentally and physically, that I've had on the bike since getting into riding seriously. I've had numerous injuries and illnesses. Only time and physiotherapy (which I am back at for my most recent injury) have helped heal the physical. The mental side . . . meh. Meh.
I've said "Meh" so much this year.
Sums up my season . . . MEH!

Since I made the decision to 'kind of' put the bike away' I've been trying to heal up, in all aspects of my presently over-sized form. First, my weight . . .

I wish it were this easy.
It is that easy.
It's not that easy.

Fak. I have NO discipline or will power lately.
I've had it in the past. I was down to 186lbs for the BC race in 2008. So I can do it. Motivation is needed . . . I need a big race this year.
I'm working on something, actually a couple of things.

The only thing that is going to help me to lose weight is being held accountable for my actions. The past year I've gained weight, had lower energy levels, battled through some illness, felt lathargic and lazy. A lot I can attribute to a change in career and demanding shift work, the rest is bad choices in food.

I need a change, not a diet plan . . . despite how professional Kim's Troglodyte Diet sounds, I'm not touching any diet that has a name or has been on Oprah.

I've been researching around and have found a nutritionist to work with to help me make some changes. I lined up my appointment for the last week of October . . . and until that appointment rolled around I had decided that I was going to enduldge like it was the end of the world.
My last lunch before my initial appointment was this:

Poutine.
I've been seeing Heather at Ottawa Nutritionist for the past three weeks or so. She's educating me and helping make some better food choices for myself that will revive my energy levels, boost my immune system, heal by muscular and nervous system by using a holistic approach. So far it's been good. She has a realistic approach - not once have I eaten bean sprouts and alfalfa (which I actually don't mind in some things), and it hasn't been a drastic change from what I already what I was eating . . . minus the poutine of course. My weight has begun to come down (was at 211 lbs, now down to 204 lbs) and I'm feeling better. All in time I guess.

I'm back in the gym. I've been working out before or after each shift. Short, intense super-set, circuit like workouts (40-50 minute workouts - who wants to spend lots of time in the gym when they cane be outside?). I put on muscle faster than a pin cushion, steroid using Mr. Universe contestant. So my focus is on muscular endurance to help avoid putting on bulky mass . . . some mass is inevitable of course. Been using many xc skiing dryland strength and explosive power training exercises to help, which will also be useful over the ski season - which I am looking forward to and plan on skiing lots.

Mentally? Shite, where to begin.
Will say this, I've seriously considered killing the blog, stamping it out, putting it out to pasture, euthanizing it. It's been more of a chore to write, partially I haven't been doing lots to write about. But it's partially some other things too . . . another post perhaps.

For now I will leave it. I'll blog when I feel like it. It was a change I was going to make anyway. I don't like being stuck into trying to blog five days a week. I use to blog seven days a week! Fak.
Guess that means getting bumped from Dickie's "Regular Doses" column and moved to "Suffering From Regularity" column. Meh. Maybe in the early Spring I'll get bumped back up to the big leagues.

I've also taken away my "Followers". Too depressing. I think I've had one come on-board in the past six months. Nobody is reading, and I can't blame them. Too much boring, self depreciating drivel.
I'm in a funk. What goes down must come up.
Right?

Meh.