Monday, August 24, 2009

Monkey Butt Losers

For those of you wondering what the prize would be for suggesting the best use of my empty Bag Balm tin . . . a sample of Anti Monkey Butt Powder (and a few other pretty coolio knick knack paddy whack things).

Seems that someone from Anti Monkey Butt, after visiting the blog, thought that my arse needed some help (*review to follow in the next week or so). Perhaps they read copious blog posts of me bitching and moaning about how fat/slow I am and figured that I sat on my ass too much. Or maybe they saw something red and inflamed on my buttocks in one of my naked reviews. Either way, they sent me a little care package to try out and samples to give out.

In the lead for suggestions (and there are only two . . . . pretty lame . . . . I knew traffic was slow last week, but that's just brutal - see comments section from here) :
  • KY Jelly - really now . . . . why the fugg would I want to squeeze out all the jelly from it's handy tube into an old Bag Balm tin. And how does one go about getting a KY Jelly sponsorship? Sickening. FAIL.
  • Trail Mix - stupid. I'm thinking that I don't want to keep anything in that tin that's edible. After all, there was some double dipping going on in it over the years. A few times I even found pieces of bark in it. FAIL.

Your suggestions are not worth the postage that I'd put on an envelope and I feel embarrassed for you both. Losers.

To all others, keep trying - prizes to be won.


Anonymous said...

Anti-monkey butt doesn't work well. tried it...
my ass is still beet red.

Ky is the best. Talk to the chicks out there... they use it on both cracks...

I heard face cream will do the trick as well.

I use polysporin for my sore ass.

Trail mix on your ass would hurt.

I do like ky though. It serves many purposes. Can hit many birds with one stone. It's cheap in comparison to other products out there.
And, it has groove appeal.

chicks like it.

bag balm didn't work for me. That is only good for farmers and sheep.
You guys have to keep away from the sheep!
sheep carry vd - very disturbed people play with sheep

Matt Surch said...

BR, you evidently missed my winning suggestion. Look again. Then let me know where I can pick up my prize.