Coconuts and Numbnuts

Coconuts -

Curvy Butt and the VV put me on to coconut water for a remedy for cramping. I've always suffered from cramping, but managed to keep it under something resembling control by a conscious effort at drinking regularly. I also take calcium/magnesium supplements twice daily, which I've found has taken the edge off. But still, I get cramps from time to time.

So this weekend I'll be carrying a bottle of it with me to sip on throughout the race. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. Might get a placebo affect. Whatever. If it gets me across the line faster and in first place, I won't be disappointed. Anything less than first and I'm quiting biking and will make it my life long mission to rid the world of coconuts.

That being said, coconut water has a lot going on for it. It is biologically pure, full of natural sugars, salts, and vitamins which help ward off fatigue. And check this out . . .

"It's a natural isotonic beverage, with the same level of electrolytic balance as we have in our blood. It's the fluid of life, so to speak." In fact, during the Pacific War of 1941-45, both sides in the conflict regularly used coconut water - siphoned directly from the nut - to give emergency plasma transfusions to wounded soldiers.

Freak'in crazy. So, if I crash mid-race or get ambushed by the enemy (you know who I'm talking about) and need a transfusion, I'm set.

Numbnuts -

My mother-inlaw (Jeannie Beanie) says, "We tease the ones we love." How true. I always tease my wife - sometimes too much. She knows I do it because it's my way of showing her how much I care.

If that expression is true, then I guess the Dark Lord himself is ass over kettle for me. He's got smack and trash talk going on here and here.

At first I thought he was suffering from low self-esteem. We all know people who deep down feel insecure about themselves babble on and on and on. Make enough noise, point fingers at others . . . . anything to take the spot light off yourself.

I don't think that's the case with Peter. Like I said above, I think he's in love with me. Perhaps he fjears me a little bit. Maybe he's worried about me spanking him this weekend. But deep down, I think it's just love.

I hope that he'd just make up his mind, asks me to the prom before someone else does and gives me a pretty pink corsage to ride.

Words. They need to be backed up by some substance. For his sake, I do hope Peter beats me this weekend at the Marathon Challenge Race #2 and I think he's got a good shot. He's invested a lot of time, energy, sleepless nights, time in the mirror trying to style his hair (or what's left of it) like mine and so on preparing for it and smack talking me. If he fails to beat me . . . . well, it won't be pretty.

Peter - "I can't seem to find my vagina."

Good luck &
no pressure.

B4H and Westfest

Dropped Like A Bag of Hammers

Wednesday night Tall Tree group ride in the park. There were about eight or nine us that met at the gate for some Gatineau road fun . . . . I use the word 'fun' loosely . . . . turned out to be more like suffering for me.

Kaaa-boooom! I blew up and that's the last I saw of the group until Champlain.
Bye group.

For the first 25 minutes that I was able to hang on. By the base of the King Mtn climb I had blown up. Matt was nice enough to give me a strong push to try and get back on to the pack, which I was almost able to do, but not before being completely dropped. Road riding in groups is tough (at least for me) - pay attention to the pace, stay on the wheel ahead of you, spin the legs when you can, recover every chance you get, don't get dropped - easier said than done.

By the time I got to the Champlain lookoff everyone was waiting for me. Nothing more humbling that being the last rider. Meh. No egos in the group (except for my bruised one) - everyone riding is out for a ride and a good time. That's what I like about this ride. Don't get me wrong though, the pace is certainly pushed.

I discovered another thing about this group ride - it's not boring. Once at Champlain, the group consensus was to ride the #1 (a gravel dirt road) to the #2 (a gravel ski trail that has been groomed and manicured so much that it's smoother than most footpaths), which hooks on the #40 that dumps you out onto Meech Lake Rd. The descent down #2 and the #40 was a bit sketchy at times - a few rocks here a few rocks there, some loose gravel, etc. I managed to do a two wheel drift with my ass end hanging out around a tight corner, on 700 x 23c road tires, one foot clipped in, narrowly missing going into a ditch. Who said road ride was boring? I never thought that I'd be using my road bike for dirt trails, but it was a hoot nonetheless.

Re-grouping at a fork on the dirt paths. Spandex, shaved legs, narrow tires just seemed a little out of place on the dirt trail.

Rodd and Greg riding along Meech Lake.

Once out on Meech Lake Rd it was an out and back to the end, then we headed towards the Fortune Climb. Once at the base I bailed and opted to ride out with Candace and Greg. I had nothing left in the legs. The weekend might have pooched them, but I think it has more to do with not being very smart at riding in groups. It could also be due to the extra five pounds that I put on in the last two days of eating strictly Blizzards and pizza, trying to make up for the weight loss on my bike from going to a rigid. Meh. It was fun regardless of how sucky I am.

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Running Rigid

I've always wanted to try a rigid fork on the single speed. But, to be perfectly honest, I've also been a little scared to. Scared, more or less, due to the area in which I live. Many of the trails in and around Ottawa are technically challenging: lots of roots, rocks, roots over rocks, rocks mixed into roots, roots on top of more roots growing on & in between rocks . . . you get the picture. A suspension fork, in my mind up until now, wasn't a negotiable item.

*editors note: I have yet to run the rigid fork at Camp Fortune or Kanata - the serious shit.

However, if I hailed from southern Ontario - in the land of fast, flowy, untechnical trails (I look down my bulbous deep pored nose and laugh at you silly southern Ontario'ians and race promoters who think you have technical trails - hoooooo haaaaaaa haaaaaaa) - then a rigid fork would be a much less of a concern.

Being a sad fat man who gets suckered into following all the latest trends related to the fringes of the mtn bike world, for example: tattoos, single speeding, facial hair, 29'ers, tall socks, argyle, and so forth . . . . I couldn't help but to want to have a go at rigid. If I don't I won't get my single speeder club patch to sew on my vest.

Luckily for me Stephano has been sitting on a beauty of a rigid carbon fork for the last two years humming and hawing about ever using it. And since he hasn't/wasn't, I was able to convince him to lend it to me. He was kind enough OR stupid enough to do so . . . . I don't think I will ever give it back. I can say this because I know that he doesn't know what a blog is or ever reads this . . . . Stef is a big girly butterfly bend over buddy gay bob (please if this comment offends anyone reading, it's only for Stef's sake and does not represent the views/opinions of the writer).


Right off the bat this fork cuts 2 + lbs off the bike which you notice immediately. What I like best about the weight savings is it allows me to eat more food now. 2 + lbs off the bike means 2 lbs that I can gain now . . . . right? Isn't that how it works? Mmmmm, 2 + lbs of Dairy Queen Blizzards and pizza out the ying yang!

Aside from the weight savings the fork handles incredibly well . . . . . IF you are constantly aware that you are on a rigid fork. Forget and let your guard down at the wrong time and you are fugg'ed. There were moments going into technical sections on my ride Sunday that I almost forgot I didn't have suspension on the front. Having cat like reflexes (from years of performing snake charming while in a Taiwanese prison circus) I was able to compensate and pick the best lines around large rocks and man-handle the bike over the rest. That being said, the 29'er wheels roll over things quite well, so there is definitely an advantage just in that alone. Even on the rigid, the bike handled very predictably through the rough stuff.

Carbon Cycles - Exotic rigid 29'er fork

I expected my wrists, forearms and shoulders to be bothering me during or after the ride, but I felt/feel no discomfort. Being incredibly ripped, and damn good looking man I might add, helps.

I liked climbing, either flat or technical, on the rigid. Going slow (climbing quickly for me is not an option) it's easy to pick your lines and there is no loss of power or energy into the fork. My White Brothers Magic 29'er fork has IMV valving - which is their fancy acronym for propedal or semi lock out while climbing - still, it moves slightly at times while climbing out of the saddle. With the rigid, all your power goes into pedaling the bike, no wasted energy.

I opted to run my tubed wheelset on Sunday with a Kenda Karma 2.1 tire. I'd like to experiment with the air pressure in the front wheel - ran 31 psi in the front and felt that I could have gone a bit lower, thus giving me a little more cush. Too low and you'll flat when plowing into rock gardens. I would also like to try my Stan's Tubless wheelset with the rigid and really run a lower air pressure - somewhere around 20 psi - which I think would greatly improve handling and provide some suspension.

I'll be running the rigid next weekend for the Marathon Challenge at Mansfield, which will give me more time to experiment with it.

Curvy's Photos From Yesterday

A wee tiny, itty-bitty baby deer.
(actually taken by Curvy Butt on his Saturday ride)

climbing up the Fortune Parkway
- checkout the Vegan Vagabond, suffering, but always smiling!

Puck you Miss!

Long Mtn Bike Gat Ride

The Vegan Vagabond and I left from my place this morning for an all-day ride. The plan was to ride from my place, across the river and into the park and as follows: Gameline to the 15, up past Pink and onto Kingsmere, up to the number 1 (Ridge), to the 4, down into Camp Fortune, down the Camp Fortune Rd to Meech, to O'Brien, the 36, to the 50, 52 and down to the Wakefield turn-off, back up the 53 and to the 51 to Lac Philippe. From there, we back-tracked to O'Brien, up the Fortune Parkway to Ridge and then headed for home. Lots of climbing. All in I did 106 kms, 5 hours 35 minutes of ride time on the single speed.

Last time I saw Pascal was on one of the Tall Tree group road rides in the park - he and I were hanging off the back up Fortune, but he was able to hang on much better than I. He was able to join us for the first three or so hours.

Curvy Butt had the opportunity to put some miles on his legs - P7, the loop and back.

Token "I was there" photo. It was the first time this year that I've worn my Wingnut pack - being way back on the trails in the Gats there are no places to fill up mid-way. I felt really, really good riding today. I had to turn back around and head home, mid road loop, yesterday because my legs were anchors and my belly upset. Then less than 24hrs later and I was feeling f-i-n-e. Not pushing a hard pace, just felt strong and positive throughout.

The Vegan Vagabond prep'ing for her 4th solo 24 hr attempt (in a couple of weeks).

My first crack at full rigid. More tomorrow on that . . . . but I have to say that I was really digging it.

No sleep for this fat girl
No blog post (not even a title) this morning of any real value due to a stressful yesterday and sleepless night. Will try to lay down a worthwhile post later today . . .
. . . . that is all.

Fortune

Wednesday nights at Camp Fortune are race nights, that is every second Wednesday. Last night was a fun ride, no suffering required . . . still, to get to the top for views like this you have to hurt a little. Got to ride with a few guys that I don't normally have the opportunity to ride with.

Matt on his rigid Niner and baggggggggggy pants.

Co-owner/operator of Tall Tree Cycles, Will . . . all blurry cause he was riding so fast (crappy camera).

Kent, co-owner/operator of Phat Moose Cycles, expressing on his Xprezzo that he was done like dinner after climbing up Flanny's/Brians.

Cooked. It's nice to see that he can put himself into the recovery position without help and before he passes out.

*Shawn was also riding with us, but I never got a shot of him. Next time Shawn.

Bike Prep

Spent a couple hours or so prep'ing bikes (taking off pedals, kickstands, turning bars, and dropping seats to better fit into the sea container) at the B4H warehouse to be loaded onto the container in June, which will be shipped over to Namibia. More info on that here.

Ride hard dudes.

We had about 250 bikes in the warehouse, from our bike drive on the weekend, which were donated to be sent over to change some lives. Most of them were your typical big box store brand bikes from varying years. Every now and then you'd come across a gem. Some beauty old bikes that I would have liked to kept and given a home. I'm sure that they'll get better use by someone who can use them to improve their lives.

*Any locals wanting to help prep bikes?
Please shoot me an e-mail (it's in my profile dealie thing over there -------------> )
We're having another prep night in another week or so.

Lonely, Wet & Cold Sunday Ride

Some of my fair weather riding buddies bailed on me Sunday morning in fear of getting wet - guess they thought that they might melt. I can't blame them I guess . . . . May 31st and it was 9 degrees Celsius (48 Fahrenheit), rain on the way and 20km/hr wind. Hard to believe that it'll be summer in a few short weeks.

I could have ridden the trails out in Kanata or at Fortune, but with all the rain that we've had this past week, I wouldn't have been doing them any favours. So, I packed my rain jacket and I was happy enough sticking to the road.

I basically followed the same route above, except I road up to Cross Loop from River Rd, when I got to Pine Rd and the #50 I rode through the park on the double track, down Meech Lake Rd to Fortune, up and through the park and home. The mileage was just a tad bit over 115km all said and done.

This was the last little bit of blue sky that I'd see for the day, just at the top of the steep downhill headed towards Mt Cascade (check my speed out below).

Deserted roads.

It was blindingly green.

Stopped at the covered bridge in Wakefield to put on my rain jacket, and took this shot.

My new favourite bakery in Wakefield.
The only thing I ate before I left the house in the morning was a banana and a coffee. I wasn't even that hungry when I stopped in Wakefield (another advantage of being 'big boned' - lots of extra fuel stored on board to be burned) and was stopping more to fill up a bottle. Not being so hungry might of had something to do with the medium pizza I ate the night before. Still, if you're going to stop, you may as well eat.

Mmmmmm, saddle butter tart.
This was the best butter tart I've ever had - seriously. Dates, buttery goodness and even tasted like there was some pumpkin in it.
After I viewed this photo at home I realized I put a yummy butter tart on my sweaty, wet & stinky saddle (at least it is a new saddle).
Only made the butter tart taste better . . . . Mmmmm, arse tart.

Cross Loop Rd. headed towards Pine Rd and the trail head to the #50.
I love the versatility of a cross bike (fitted with the proper tires) - pavement, gravel and double track all in the same ride.

Up the #50 and into the park via double track. I opted out of riding along River Rd or the 105 to stay out of the driving cold rain. Much more shelter in the forest and much more scenic and added a bit of an off-road adventure.

Reason for photo is two-fold: one, that was my max speed (into a headwind) coming down the 18% grade into Mt. Cascade - I'm sure others have gone way faster . . . . which leads me to, two, check out my tires: Grand Bois 700 x 30. I love these tires. They carry speed on the road, cushy enough to handle the gravel roads, and can even take the punishment of rocky, rooty double track.

Fisticuff and Lac Meech in the rain.
I had to watch my speeds on the descents on the #50 and #36 back to O'Brien - lots of rocks and roots and no grip'tion on these tires. There were a few uphills with technical sections that I had to walk.

Token "I'm in the shot and rode the ride" shot.

From O'Brien it was up the Fortune Parkway climb, to the Champlain Parkway and towards home. Just a little over 4 and a bit hours of saddle time. Only once did I consider stopping, phoning Chris to come pick me up and bailing on the ride. Despite the weather, it really was a great ride.

Weekend B4H Bike Drive

I don't have a lot of time in my life for much other than my little family and riding & racing. When I do spend time away from the people and things I love, it had better be for a good reason. This past weekend I had a good reason to donate some of my time to my favourite charity - Bicycles For Humanity.

You wouldn't think sending a bike to Africa would/could change a life. Well, you need to listen to this (scroll down and clicky clicky on "Tools for Life") and you might change your mind.

I'm not sure what's going on with my facial expression in this photo, but I can assure you that I was very happy to be spending my time helping raise funds and collect bikes for this very worthwhile cause. Ryan and the Vegan Vagabond were there to help as well. Anastasia, another volunteer was behind the camera taking the photo.


We collected bikes, tools, spare parts, some clothing and backpacks, along with some money donations.

The Ottawa chapter of B4H met it's goal of collecting enough bicycles to fill a sea container to ship to Namibia this June. Read more about it here.

XXC

Looking for a new mtn bike mag to keep you occupied? Have a look at The Soiled Chamois' new magazine, XXC. You can download it or read it on-line, and it's free!

Send your bike to Africa

Bicycles For Humanity bike drive this weekend.
(I'll be at the Surgenor location, come out and say "Hi".)

Please donate!

Saga

If any of you have ever visited the dark side you may have noticed Peter's completely transparent, obvious and one-sided bromance towards Dicky. Seems he has a thing for skinny, fast southern fellas who ride single speeds. Dicky, being a popular cycling blogger, may have not had time to snipe back and fourth with the Misfits mastermind, teasing and taunting the dark-one the way a mistress dominatrix spanks her clients. But let's face it, he's out of his league trying to keep up with the big boys of the single speed cycling world in the states.

Feeling shunned and turned out into the cold, what's he going to do? Look for some other soul to fill the empty pit inside of him. Through his sniping, he has marked me - I have become that soul.

He underestimated me. He underestimated my power. He underestimated my resolve. What he has found is a fierce competitor. Yes, he may have (narrowly) won this battle, but will he win the war?

The saga has begun.
But we all know how it ends.

Opus Spring Epic 8 Hr Race Report

For the second weekend in a row, me and my race travel partner headed west to test our race legs. This week's race was the Opus Spring Epic 8 Hr at Mansfield Outdoor Centre, put on by Chico Racing.

This is the third year I've done this race and it is one of my favourite events that I look forward to. I'd prefer a long looped course, but if you have to ride in circles, you may as well be doing it at Mansfield. I found this year's course especially fun and fast, perfect for single speed - super buff, fast, non-technical single track (typical of southern Ontario), only a few long'ish climbs, a couple short steep pitches thrown in that kept you honest and torquing on the pedals.

My race was pretty uneventful, started out too fast (as always), settled into my pace, tried to take in too many calories to try and compensate for any potential cramping/bonking issues that I might have, stomach went into digestive distress, managed to overcome a mental low during laps 6,7,8 to recover from feeling sick and wanting to toss in the towel, picked my game up, and got on with the rest of the race. I was lucky to hook up with a few fast riders out on course to help pace me along. One such rider was Richard, riding on a tag team with Dave for True North. He was running ss as well, pretty much the same gear, and slightly higher pace than my previous couple of laps (I was trying to recover from nearly shatting myself and an uneasy stomach). We rode an entire lap together. At the end of it (maybe my 7th or 8th lap) I felt revived and ready to get on with the rest of the race.

Eye of the tiger is dirty, dusty, sweaty.

The eye of the tiger wasn't enough. Smart racing was the answer. I give credit to Mark Summers and Jamie Davies for being faster riders than I am, but I give credit to Peter for being smarter (I'm sure Mark and Jamie are smart riders too).

I finished my twelfth lap riding it entirely with Jamie, who so happened to be on his thirteenth. I have no idea when or where he lapped me, cause I never saw him. We went through the timing area nearly at the same time (on my 12th) and saw that he was in first place. He looked like he was hurting, so I decided to stay with him and see what panned out. As we rode together my mind worked away and figured (wrongly) that I must have passed 2nd and 3rd spots along the way (while they pitted?) because on my 8th lap one of the race announcers said over the loudspeaker that I was in 4th. I knew my pace had picked up after my stomach settled, so in complete and obstructed optimism I figured I had moved into second place . . . . not realizing that Jamie was in fact one lap ahead of me, meaning 2nd and 3rd were behind him, out on course ahead of me . . . . follow?

Simply put . . . I was still in fourth. Fugg.

There were a few times in the first 5-7 km of the course as I followed the first place rider that I was feeling good and thought about passing - I knew he was suffering and I wasn't a threat to him, so he most likely wouldn't follow. I opted not, figuring this was my last lap, so I'd take it easy, coast across the line and capture second place.

What a chump.

I didn't think that I'd cross the line in time enough to get out for a final lap. I crossed at 5:50 pm. Cut off to go out for your last lap was at 6 pm, you had to be back in by 6:35 pm or your attempt at your last lap wouldn't count. This gave me 45 minutes to complete another lap . . . . . plenty'o time to do it considering my 12th lap was 40 minutes.

Here's how I wasn't smart: one, I didn't pay attention to my lap times. If I did, I would have known that I had enough time to go out and get one more lap in. Stoopid. Two, I didn't have anyone keeping an eye on the competition - if I did, I might know that Peter was only a minute or two ahead of me when I completed my last lap AND he was running consistently slower laps than I was (ouch! Did that hurt?!). Duuuuuumb. Three, I didn't pit and pick up a new bottle on my way to the finish, figuring I was done. Boneheadddddddd.

Hat's off to Peter though, even missing both nipples, he rode a strong race and beat me fair and square.

Nipples on the far right.

Mari and Jenny taking 3rd (riding ss in a geared division) in the female tag team. Way to go ladies.

The Vegan Vagabond and first place in the solo women's - very exciting race as 8 hrs of hammering came down to the last five minutes. Wicked.

Matt was flying, riding tag with Bill. This was a prep for Solstice for Matt, who rode ten strong and fast laps, then handed the baton over to Bill for the last three hours. As long as Matt keeps the stomach and head issues under control I am guessing that he'll have a podium shot for sure.

And me. Fourth and bitter.

Actually, I'm not bitter at all. I had an awesome race, met some pretty cool people, rode a great course, had a lot of fun, gained a lot of confidence and got dirty. Why do you race?

Turd place . . . I mean , in third place in my division was the Dark Lord of the Empire himself. Matt, my apologies to Molly.

Race results.